everything is red [jd.tj]

ch. 4

Tyler
It's been a couple hours and mom isn't back yet. I'm starting to get worried. Knowing her she's probably getting drunk at some random bar and blowing off all of our new money. I can tell Zack is thinking the same thing, unfortunately.

"Ty, where's mommy?" I shrug in response and flutter my eyes shut

I sometimes wish I could speak, put my opinion, my voice out there, but it's not that simple. I decided to stop talking the moment our mom left this morning. Why? Because as we made our way to the library, we were actually stopped by a random group of kids and they punched me in the mouth several times, claiming that I won't need it anymore. The librarian and Ashley's mom had helped clean me up, to which I was very grateful for, but the more I thought about those kid's words, the more it started to get into my head. It's not like I need to speak, they were right, my voice is useless.

I feel myself start to dose off, that is until our somewhat front door bangs open, causing me to shriek. I glare at the noise, only to realize it was our mom. And she isn't drunk. "Mommy?" I hear Zack asks. "Hey buddy, guess what, are you ready to make some friends and learn?" I see Zacks eyes light up in interest. "Yes!"
"Good, because you. Tyler, and soon Madison, will be going to school?" He squeals and latches onto her like it's the last human in the world. I said my eyebrow at her and she smiles. "Yup, you too Ty. You are in the 8th grade and Zack, you are in the fourth." He smiles wider and my eyes widen a bit. "Also, I'm gonna get this house all fixed up so it will look nicer. Later on, I will be going to Wal-Mart to get some nice clothes for future job interviews! Kids, we have been saved by the Lord himself!" I cringe a little at the last sentence, but smile nonthless. I know to some people $5,000 isn't much, but to us it's like a million dollars (which would also be amazing too). Luckily, from being in poverty most of our lives, we know how to cherish and save and money we get or earn. But wow, I'm finally able to go to school. That's crazy. A frown ghosts on my lips at the thought of getting bullied. I know I will, I'm sure of it, I just hope Zack doesn't get bullied too.

As I lay in bed, I look through the hole in the roof and study the stars. I'm able to sleep peacefully because mom isn't drinking tonight. Thank goodness. A smile tugs at my lips as I hear Zack snoring in the pallet next to me. He's too pure for this world, and so are the other two. I close my delicate eyes and fall into a deep slumber.

School starts tomorrow and I have no idea what to do. I know the basic things of all subjects, but that's it. Yesterday, mom got us school supplies from the store, and we went ahead and took them to the school. I've already met all of my teachers and they all seem nice. My mom told them about me being a mute and they understood (it seems like she thinks I've been mute my whole life). I just hope that same attitude carries on to tomorrow. I'm not completely oblivious, I know they act nice in front of the parents, then act like meanies towards the students.
It's unfair really. I couldn't stop fiddling with my fingers, I was so nervous and it was evident too. Zack was a little off as well, but you could still see the excitement that laced in his eyes. It made me truly happy that he's finally getting the education he oh so deserves. As for me, I'm just a mess.
I grab a bowl from the cabinet and set it down on the counter. I get out a pack of ramen and put it beside the bowl. Then, I poured some water into the bowl and set it by the fire place, making a small fire to heat up the water. I take a deep breath, inhaling the fiery scent. I plop down and watch the water with an unamusing look. Once I see it boil a bit, I put out the fire and pour the hard noodles in the bowl, then stirring it with a cheap fork.
Stuff like this went on for the whole day, just me trying to distract myself and not have a panic attack. Which will most likely happen tomorrow.