Kiss the Girl: A Chris Evans Fanfiction

19.

My hands shook as I looked up at Chris. He'd cancelled our wedding? He didn't want to be with me. For what? Because I'd made friends with a man he'd asked me to have sex with. That had to be one of the most fucked up things I'd ever heard. I struggled to pull my engagement ring off. "I'll need time to find a new place and pack my things." I said, my voice cracking. What was I going to do now? First my parents and now Chris? I had no family left. I wasn't good enough for anyone.

Chris looked at me dumbfounded. "Em, I'm not giving up on us. Hear me out, okay?" He took my hand in his, ran his thumb down my palm and pushed my engagement ring back into place. "I called my mom. She told me I was being an idiot. You're right. You're giving up so much. I got stuck on the idea that I never asked you to do that, that I missed the fact that you've never put me in the position to have to ask. If you'd come and said 'I have a job in England' like Gaby does, and 'should I take it or stop working and stay here with you?' I'd ask you to stay. Of course I would. You have agreed to make all my dreams for the future come true, simply because you love me and you want me to have that. I've never once considered that yours might not be the same as mine." I felt my hand close around his, like it was forgiving him before the rest of me was ready to.

He squeezed my hand. "I told Ma about Tom, not what we'd done but how I was jealous of you being friends. She said she looked up those photos. That you and Tom looked like how you look when your with Scott or Shanna. Or any of them really. That when you're with me it's different. She said that I needed you to be like that, because it's what I'm like and it's something I've always said I loved about you. I knew that anyway. I don't know. It just shocked me that you were talking behind my back."

"I wasn't talking behind your back. I didn't ..."

He put his palm against my cheek. "I know. I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't know. It made no sense to me why you would have kept talking to him so much. I kinda didn't think about how you'd spent so much time together without me. Ya know? I went off to work and just did my thing. I didn't really think about what you were doing. The only time I saw the two of you together, he had some part of himself inside you. I still get jealous thinking about it. When I see you near to each other I get jealous. But that's on me. I didn't even talk it over with you first to see if you wanted to have sex with him. I just gave you to him. I'm sorry, Em."

"I don't want to have to stop being friends with him because you're jealous." I was crying now. Silent tears that just ran down my cheeks.

"You don't have to. I'll work on it. Maybe we could hang out? The three of us? If I saw you together just as friends, it would probably help."

I nodded. "Okay. But why don't you want to marry me any more?"

He held my fingers up to his face and kissed them. "I want to marry you more than I ever wanted anything, babe. I want to give you the wedding you want, because you're giving me so much. Will you marry me, Em? We can get married in Australia at that zoo, how you want to."

I leaned in and kissed him. Relief washed over me. I was still angry. Angry that he hadn't trusted me, angry that he'd ever even given me this ultimatum but I could forgive him. "Of course I'll marry you, you idiot." I laughed weakly. "You shouldn't have cancelled Boston though. They might not have room for us at the zoo any more."

Chris raked his fingers through his hair. "Oh yeah. Shit."

I kissed him again and he pushed up against me, so I ended up lying back on the sofa with him over me between my legs.

"We'll figure something out." I sighed, when he pulled away, lying down on me. His head on my chest, nuzzling against my neck. "Fuck, today has been an emotional roller coaster."