True love is forever

Chapter ~ 20

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."  

― Marilyn Monroe

- Harry -

"Harry I can explain...it's" Viv's voice sounded shaky as she tried to explain the pills I'd found in her handbag.

"What is it Viv, are you on some weird drug that you're not telling me about?"

she shook her head and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"C'mon Viv" I said becoming worried "I don't want this kind of thing coming into my apartment I mean are addoicted do you need to see someone like a specialist or rehab -"

"NO!" she blurted standing up but sitting down again. I swear she was close to breaking into tears.

I thought back to the last few weeks and it began to make sence, why she was having night terrors, she was always looking thinner, sometimes she'd have bursts of energy and other days she would be really lazy. I didn't make sence but I wasn't giving up on her. I'd seen people go through this before and support is key.

"Harry it's not what you think I -"

"Is it not?" I cut her off "So you won't mind if I do this then"

I angrily stormed into the bathroom and held the tub over the toilet. I almost had the top of when she cried out to me and ran into the bathroom after me, tears streaming down her face. I looked at her and stopped realizing something was seriously wrong.

"Viv what's wrong?" I whispered genuinely frightened.

"I...I need them because I've been precribed them by a doctor"

I nodded slowly as she breathed in and out. It felt like a lifetime waiting for her to speak. Vision becoming blurry I ran through the same things in my mind and realized what was wrong.

"It's depression isn't it?" I didn't trust my own voice but I hated myself as soon as I saw her wide brown eyes open and she nodded, a fresh flow of tears falling down her cheeks.

I crossed over to pull her into my arms. It made me sick that she couldn't trust me with this, a secret she'd been clearly to embarassed to tell me about. I wanted nothing but to help her from now on, we were living together we needed to share everything.

"No more secrets?" I held up my pinky finger.

She held up hers "No more secrets."

- Viv -

So in conclusion Cancer was not only making me selfish it was making me downright liar too.

I am a horrible person.

I told myself I'd hide the truth from him but if he asked, if he asked I'd tell him. But here I was, lying in his arms getting sympathy for an illness I didn't even have. Once again, I was breaking all my own rules.

I knew any chance of me sleeping was low. I took Harry's hand from around my waist and placed on the part of the bed where my should've lain and wrapped a dressing gown around my bares arms. I was still shivering but that was something I'd become accustumed to at this stage, the shaking.

Like a dead man walking I strolled into the living room nearest the kitchen and sat on the couch, pulling a throw over my legs. I cluthced my phone almost praying that Fraya would call me back and apologise but then again, why would she? Everything she had said was true. I was the reason my sister was being bullied and my mother was falling to pieces.