True love is forever

Chapter ~ 24

"Do you ever wonder why things have to turn out the way they do?"  

― Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember

- Viv -

I was supposed to be able to breathe properly with these tubes in my nose. But they were so uncomfortable.

I clutched my bag to my stomach, still hoping some part of it smelt like Harry. I didn't see him drop my cases off, they were just there when I woke up.

My cancer had spread even further and in order for me to stay conscious for the next few weeks I was going to need an injection every few days and a lot of bed rest.

Mama reached her hand across to touch mine from the drivers seat. I didn't acknowledge her, I just stared ahead at the ever lasting road. Not even her soft words could comfort me now.

I was lost in my own miserable world, scraping the walls looking for an exit. I wasn't a depressing person, I didn't go into limbo. I found silver linings I was good at that. So why was this killing me. I coped when I found I had little time left. I coped when I found I would never meet my baby brother but here I am, breaking at the thought of never seeing the boy who I've known for less than three months.

Did that make me a selfish person?

My house didn't greet me the way it usually did. With its bright red door and ivory. It looked dull and boring like a painting during World War One.

Serena sat in the doorway, looking somehow more mature in the week I had seen her. She smiled at me differently and I went to hug her.

Her arms wrapped around my waist the way they always did but they didn't join, they barely touched before she had moved away.

I expected a cheeky or sarcastic remark from Paola who greeted me in the kitchen but all I got was a tight squeeze and another weak smile.

Dad however hugged me tighter than ever before and ruffled my hair like he used to. It made me weak with sadness. So weak I found myself sucking in my cheeks and slipping off to bed. Hoping my dreams would be better than my reality.

"V do you not want so soup?" Mama asked, holding up her ladle.

"No thanks, I'm really tired. Think I'll head to bed now" I started towards the stairs but her soft words cut me off again.

"Don't go to sleep though, the call out nurse should be here any minute"

I sighed and took a breath through my tubes, scrunching my face at the discomfort.

"Can't she come tomorrow Mama" I pledged "I'm not in the mood to see anyone"

I tried to pull the crying card but I didn't have the energy, I just gave up and lay on my bed, praying the nurse couldn't come.

She did though and she was far too happy for the job she had.

"Now Viviana, I'll just get you to sit up for me there!" Gracie Beckett was a mid forty year old call out nurse. She couldn't have more than five foot and had a rounded belly and face. Her cheeks were bright pink, clashing with her light brown short cut.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, placing a pillow behind my back and rolling up my sleeve.

"Tired" I said, yawning loudly.

Gracie chuckled "I'd expect so, long trip from London. Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

I thought about it for a moment. I could confess my life story to her but then who was she? She probably deals with this kind of thing all the time.