True love is forever

Chapter ~ 33

Dear Poala,

I never really considered you my aunt. The word was too old for your young heart. You were more like a sister and looking back, I can't even count the life lessons you taught me throughout the years. I remeber the time you took me to the beach when I was little, you couldn't have been older than I am now. You and your friend Lola thought it would be funny to bury me up to my neck and it was funny...until the lifeguard walked by and you sprinted half way down the beach to talk to him. You left me there for three hours and then when you realized you'd left your niece in the sand you bought me so much food and ice cream and bribed me not to tell mama, I didn't but I always held that secret just incase I ever needed to blackmail you. I never did though. You were the coolest aunt a girl could wish for and as much as I love dad's older sisters, they don't even fall into the same category as you.

I'm do all my best up where ever I am to get you a good looking husband I can promice you that but promice me one thing, You won't move too far away when you do meet that special someone, mama needs you even if she does'nt say it that often. Look after her P.

All my love,

Viviana xxx

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- Viv -

I lay breathless in my room while Gracie patted my head with a damp cloth. She looked paler than usual and her eyes were watery, but I couldn't figure out why. Mama stood at the door, her hands settles on the curve of her stomach. He was going to be a big fella, I thought. I could just about see Gracie mumble something to my mother before she pulled a chair to the side of my bed and smiled sadly at me. I carefully looked at every inch of my mother and remembered how beautiful she was. Always smiling and showing off her big, brown eyes. I couldn't sit up properly but I could just about turn to completely look at mama.

"Hows my sweetheart doing today?" Mama asked, her hand stroking my forehead.

I didn't cower away like I used to when I was a kid, I lay there wanting nothing more than to feel her hand on my forehead forever. I wondered if that was the way things were going to be when I was gone. Would I be able to feel all the things I loved.

Then she took my hand and swallowed hard. "Viv" she whispered looking up to hold back tears.

"Viv this is really hard for me, I know I shouldn't be saying this but this is the hardest thing I've ever had to go through"

Tears streamed down her face and I stayed silent, somehow unable to copy her motions. She continued.

"I shouldn't be sitting here while you lie there getting worse and worse. You should be helping me pick out cute maternity clothes and paint for the nursery. And then when he's born you could help me and I know you'd be should a great big sister to him and I hate this so much."

Her words became louder as her sobs got stronger. I'd never felt such a tight grip on my hands.

"Vivvy why did it have to be you? I imagined the months after you turned eighteen we'd be constantly fighting about where you were going to uni, I thought I'd be struggling financially with college bills not medical ones. I didn't think I'd have to be sending my youngest to private school because the kids in her school were so horrid and I definitely never thought I'd be watching my baby die. I loved thinking of your graduation day, your wedding day, the birth of your first child. These are all experiences you've been robbed of." She paused to drag her hands across her face and wipe the tears. "I remember the day you were born so clearly, it was so sunny in early may and you weren't meant to come for another week. Your dads mum was over and insisting my baby bag was packed wrong and then boom, my waters broke and five hours later there you were, so tiny and perfect. Your birth had been so smooth and easy and now I had you all to myself, I was so young but I knew it wasn't going to be bad, you were my reassurance that everything was going to be okay and you were the happiest thing I'd ever experienced. I swore I wouldn't let you down and now here I am, breaking that promise to myself. It's not fair baby it really isn't"