Luna

Missed (6)

Lyla P.O.V.

I feel my heart beating out of chest. I stand in front of the door, his door, my hand held in the air prepared to knock. I just cant bring myself to knock, or breathe for that matter. I cant breathe because Ill smell his scent and the guilt will eat me up even more. Ill end up running away from this situation.

The funny thing about guilt is that it can make up want to run from facing the situation, even when you're trying to fix it.

I give up on get myself knock and I reach for the silver door knob, grasping it in my hand and turning it. I step into the room. The windows are open blowing a soft breeze around the room making the curtains sway and letting in the sun light. It doesn't take me long to realize Wes isn't in here. His scent is strong but not as if he was standing a few feet away from me. I want to look for him but i honestly don't know where he would go. I would usually think he would run to the campsite, but why would he go somewhere that just reminds him of us? Why go somewhere that reminds him of everything I threw away? 

I lay back on his bed pulling his comforter close to me and breathing in his scent. The emotion turmoil is really taking its toll and it all crashing down on me. I feel myself drifting off, surrounded by the cold early spring breeze and the soft navy sheets. Sleep takes a hold of me, pulling me into its dark embrace. 

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When I wake up Im still in Wes' room. Its dark and the windows are closed, locking out the chilling night temperatures. The comforter is tucked around me tightly, protecting me from the cold. I blink a few times before registering everything. Windows closed. Blankets around me. Someones been in here. I swing my legs over the side of the bed moving to stand before tripping over the floor. Well, not exactly the floor, but whats on the floor. I hit the floor with a thud, successfully knocking the wind out of me. I gasp for breath, trying to fill my lungs. 

"Lyla?"

I gasp for air.

"Are you okay?"

Wes appears next to me from his makeshift bed on the floor. 

"What happened?"

My lungs struggle for oxygen.

"Why aren't you responding to me?"

I start feeling a little better. Taking deep breaths and returning my heart rate to normal. Wes is panicking, I can see it in his face. Worry is deep-set in his eyes as he checks me over, asking a million and one questions. I finally have enough air to speak, but it comes out as more of a wheeze. 

"Im okay."

He lets out a relieved six and his posture relaxes a bit. We sit in silence as I regain my full composure. I let my body get back into rhythm before trying to speak again.

"Wes..."

I stop. How do I say something like this? How do I take back what I did? How could he ever forgive me? How could he forgive something like that? Would I be able to in his position? My mind races and spins and i hold back a whimper at the worse case scenario. He rejects me and leaves the pack. I lose my best friend and my beta and most importantly, my mate. That won't happen. Will it? If I don't apologize, Ill never know the answer. Maybe I would rather not know the answer. 

Wes grabs my hand and my mind clears. He nods for me to continue. I have to take the risk... for Wes. 

"I'm sorry. I know I can't just, take it all back but... I can't do this without you Wes. I can't handle it. Your my rock. Without you Im just drifting off.... fighting against the current and failing. I need you Wes and I know I can't expect you to forgive me. I know what I did is horrible. I shouldn't have decided that. I should have know.... I need you back Wes. I just-"

"Wait. You want me back... as in your?"

"My Mate. I need you to be my mate. I want you to be."

Silence. Its awkward and uncomfortable and me and Wes have never been like this with each other. I feel tears pooling in my eyes, Ive ruined something and I'll never have anything like it again. 

"I shouldn't be in love with you... but I am. Sometimes when you fall, you can't get back up." I whisper as I stand and move to stand. 

I stand on my shaking legs and turn away from him. This is my fault. My fault. I did this to us. The tears start falling down my face and i rush to the door, refusing to let him see me cry.  My hand wraps around the door knob and I pull on the door. In an instant a heavy hand lands on the door, closing it and shutting me in. 

"I missed you."

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AHHHHHHHHH I LOVED WRITING THSI CHAPTER!!!!!!! SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG, SCHOOL STARTED BACK TODAY. I HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT!!! PLS REMEMBER TO VOTE AND COMMENT! THANKS SOOOOO MUCH FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!💙💖💙💖💙💖💙💖💙💖💙💖💙💖