Muse

Chapter Twenty Four

The walk downstairs is quiet, neither of us saying a word. It's not an awkward silence, it's a peaceful once. He doesn't try and runaway and pretend like we don't know each other, in fact, his hand remains on the small of my back as we step down the stairs side by side.

Harry slides his hand off my back, skimming my butt lightly and dropping his hand to his side. We stumble around the house looking for our group of friends but no one seems to be inside, they must be standing around that rock still, hopefully no longer playing truth or dare.

"They're probably still outside." I say to Harry and reach for his wrist pulling him through cliques of people and pushing us out the back door. And of course, to my dismay, they're still stood in a circle but now joined by more people.

I tilt my head to my feet when I notice the clump of people. I just went upstairs with Harry, they all know that. I probably ruined this thing we have single handedly. Harry can tell somethings not right and I'm surprised when he cups my chin and lifts my head up, his eyes staring into mine.

"What's the matter?" I just shake my head, embarrassment and a bit of shame coursing through me. I've never openly let people know what I do privately. I always kept things to myself when it came to my sexual antics.

"I'm embarrassed. We shouldn't have done that." I whisper, pushing his hand away from my face and looking back towards the ground, grinding my feet down into the worn out grass that lies beneath me.

"You regret it?" A hint of panic slices through Harry's voice and he grips each of my arms, shaking me and trying to get me to make eye contact. But I don't. I feel like I'm frozen and the only feelings I am capable of feeling is shame and embarrassment. My stomach knots and Harry pulls me around to the side of the house, out of everyone's view so he can continue to question me. "Answer me, do you regret it?"

"No, Harry. I'm happy about what we did and I'm happy I did it with you, but I'm embarrassed and I feel like an idiot and honestly I kind of feel ashamed!" He's taken back by my sudden outburst, my voice slightly raising on accident, I don't mean to yell, it's not his fault.

"Ashamed? Why?"

"Because I just had sex and I don't want everyone thinking I'm some easy whore." My eyes are watering now and I'm not sure why I'm getting so emotional. I've got way too many feelings right now.

"They have no clue what we did upstairs, and I'm not going to tell them, stop worrying." He coos, stepping closer to me, not touching me and not bothering to make me look up from our feet.

"The only reason you're not telling is because you're embarrassed of me." I spit, disappointed with how this is going. I know he's trying to comfort me, but lying to me won't do it.

"I am not. Why would you even think that?" He scoffs.

"Because you've said it before." I lift my head up, relaxing my shoulders so my neck isn't sunken in.

"Oh my god, Addy. Seriously? I said that forever ago!" His face is formed into a thick scowl and it looks as though he's about to snap any minute and yell at me like there's no tomorrow. I know I'm pushing him over the edge and I know I should stop, but I can't.

"It was two weeks ago. But that doesn't matter, you still meant it, and you probably still feel that way." I mumble, rubbing my arms.

"Did I not tell you fifteen minutes ago that I fucking care about you? I'm not embarrassed of you!" He growls, his chest rising and falling quickly.

"So why do you pretend nothing is going on between us? Why won't you tell anyone."

"It's easier that way."