Muse

Chapter Fourteen

Film is today. Which means I'm going to see Harry. I've managed to avoid him the rest of the day yesterday. Liz asked me if I wanted to go to dinner with everyone but I lied and said I had homework. I'm pretty sure she knew I didn't actually have homework but she let it slide and left me home alone.

Seeing Harry today will determine how I feel about him. If he ignores me, I'll ignore him and if he talks to me rudely, I'll be done with him but if he apologizes and is sweet, I might just go weak in the knees.

Never have I shared a moment with someone the way I did with Harry yesterday. It was a simple moment, but it was one where it felt like time had stopped and only the two of us mattered.

The way he held my face, the pad of his thumb resting on my chin, his forehead pressed against mine, it was just surreal. We were both vulnerable during that time and I think that's why it meant so much to me.

When you look at Harry you don't see someone who's sweet or funny, you see a sketchy bastard covered in tattoos. But when we were so close to each other, I saw someone else, the real him. Or at least that's what I want to believe.

I don't want to believe he's rude and he wants to hurt everyone. I like to think he has a guard up and he just doesn't want anyone to tear it down.

Saying he has dark secrets or a dark past is far fetched, I think he just has a bad ass reputation to uphold with his friends and I think that's what scares me. Never knowing how he actually feels because he acts different around certain people, it's almost somewhat embarrassing, being treated differently because someone else is watching.

None of the seats are taken when I walk into the film room. No one is even here yet so I walk to the very back, to the corner and set my stuff down. I begin to pick at my nails, not wanting to see or talk to anyone, not that anyone's in here anyway.

I spoke too soon.

When I look up the professor's eyes are already on me. I shift under his gaze, feeling slightly uneasy and I'm not sure why. He's a nice man, I just get the feeling he's going to ask me what's wrong. And I don't want him to. He makes his way towards me and I form my best 'I'm not nervous' smile.

His legs go on either side of the chair that's placed in front of me and he looks at me a second before speaking.

"You're here a bit early." He smiles. "Excited for this year?"

"My class was let out a little bit early. But yes I am very excited. I can't wait to start filming." My nervousness evaporates and is replaced with excitement at the thought of doing something I'm so passionate about.

"Well I've got good news then, I'll share it with you and everyone else once class starts." He nods a goodbye to me and climbs off his seat once students start piling in.

The smile on my face refuses to fall, my mood picking up at the idea of some good news. Maybe we'll get our first assignment! Being able to do something I love for a class is beyond exciting.

There are two minutes until class begins and Harry finally waltzes into the room. I quickly look back down at my finger nails and begin to rip off the thin coat of red nail polish. I won't let him ruin my mood. He will not ruin my mood, I tell myself.

But will he? Because I don't even dare look at him, I'm too worried about how he'll act today.

He sits down in the seat next to me but doesn't say anything. My eyes stay locked on my hands but I can't help but want to look at him.

"Are you going to look at me?" He asks, clearly confused with my behavior.

"Hmm?" My eyes shift up to meet his and my stomach starts to churn. I'm so nervous.