All I Want

11

Two hours on the road and none of us spoke a word. I turned on the radio and an Ed Sheeran song was playing.

"I love that song," He mumbled. "Brings back old memories."

"What kind of memories?" I asked, curious. My eyes were on the road, focused. 

"Before you, there was a girl. She was definitely the opposite of you. She wasn't as tall, her hair was black and her eyes were emerald green," I noticed from the corner of my eye, a smile creeped on his lips. "She wasn't from a rich family either. We met at a coffee shop and," He chuckled. "I spilled coffee on her."

"Sounds just like a Nicholas Sparks movie," I joked, we both chuckled. "Just kidding," I smiled. "Go on."

"I had to buy her another coffee and she made me sit down with her. I almost got fired that day because we spent the rest of the day talking. She was the type of person you could talk to about almost everything, including sports," He slightly nodded. "She had no hesitation whatsoever when it came to speaking her mind. I got home that day with her in my head, you know, crazy thoughts and and I went to sleep just the same way."

"You loved her?" I asked, afraid of the answer, though I was prepared for whatever. The worst thing you can do when you are dating someone is pretending there weren't any past loves. Ignorance sometimes isn't bliss. 

"Yeah," He cleared his throat. "She meant everything to me."

"Oh," I took a deep breath. Those were strong words. "Where is she now?" I was curious to know more about her. 

"I don't know, I hope she's okay though. We stopped talking because she had to move away."

"You never tried long distance?" 

"Long distance?" He scoffed. "That's bullshit." He answered and I nodded. I kept driving as we fell into silence again. This time, it was uncomfortable. 

"So, can I ask you something?" I asked, he nodded. "What am I? I mean, of course we are not in love and of course we don't love each other that way, but what am I? What do I mean to you?"

"Taylor, let's be honest, there's no happy ending in this story," He scoffed. "We have an expiration date, and just being here doing this, the running away thing," He looked at me, I looked down for a few seconds and the turning my sight again on the road. "It's useless. Eventually we'll fall back into normal," I could feel a lump in my throat. It hurt. "But, the question here is, what do I mean to you?" I took a deep breath and drove off the road. I turned off the engine and unbuckled my seatbelt. "I don't want to be a toy you play with. I don't want to be a whim, just because you fell out of love with Conor." I nodded. I kept thinking about the things he said, and he was right in questioning that. I wouldn't want to be hurt by someone doing those things to me.

"I don't know it yet. All I know is I want you in every way there is to want a person. I don't know if it's just curiosity, lust or spite. But I want you. I want your lips on mine, your skin on mine, you in my thoughts, your hand intertwined with mine...I want everything." He locked his eyes on my lips as I answered. He put one of his hands on my thigh and leaned in to lock his lips with mine. In that moment, I forgot about everything. His finger tips were electricity, for whenever they touched me, my flesh suddenly was inhabited by goosebumps. His hands moved over my body, making me forget about everything that was going on right now, it was hard for me to focus on anything else than this moment. His lips felt strong against mine now, as his tongue asked for entrance and I gave in into the pleasure. I was now on top of him, he unbuckled his seatbelt, allowing him to move his hands more freely. He tilts his head to my left ear. 

"I don't want this to happen here," He whispered. "But I can't wait any longer." I chuckled. 

"Let's go to a motel." I suggested and he nodded. I head back to the driver's seat as I fixed my hair and tried to gain back my composure. I can't lie, my body was ready for it to happen, but it probably wasn't the right time. Maybe the build up was going to be worth it. 

"I have a question for you." He spoke, capturing my attention. I glanced at him for two seconds and then I set my eyes back on the road.

"Shoot."

"What if your parents call you to ask about your whereabouts. Or even worse," He rolled his eyes. "Conor." I chuckled.

"I-I don't know. I haven't thought about it, but if they do, I'm just not going to answer their calls. I don't want to go back." I slightly rolled my eyes at the thought.

"I don't get it. You like me that much?" I pressed my lips together.

"It's not about you," I paused. "At first this entire situation was one hundred percent about you, but," I took a deep breath. "Now it's about me and my dad. He's in trouble and I'm being selfish right now, I know that," I stated. "But I can't be with Conor. I don't love him, I can't even look at him, it disgusts me." 

"You can trust me, you know that right?" I knew he said that because he wanted me to talk about my dad and the trouble he was in. 

"I do, I just don't know how to talk about it. It's a lot."

"How bad is it?" He asked, concerned.

"It's not bad," I chuckled, trying to pass the subject as something nonchalant, but regret it a second later. "It's awful. It's horrible. Terrible." I confessed. I pressed my lips together trying to hold back my tears. I didn't want to talk about it, but at the same time I wanted to tell him about everything. 

"I guess you'll tell me about it when you're ready."

"Thank you for being here with me," I smiled at him. "It was out of the nowhere and you just said yes, without hesitation."

"Yeah, it really came out of nowhere." He said, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Yeah..."

"I mean, I said yes to you without even thinking about it." 

"Oh," I chuckled. "What are you implying sir?"

"I'm saying that I must like you a lot." He confessed, blushing.

"I like you too and I hope we do have a happy ending. I wouldn't want otherwise." He took my hand and placed a kiss. His green eyes encountered mine and we smiled at each other, as if we were about to live the greatest adventure of our lives. I returned my sight to the road, but I could still feel his eyes on me. I gulped, trying not to feel nervous, even though my knees were feeling weak and my heart was beating faster than never before. I didn't care if things were about to turn out ugly, I knew deep down I was going to cherish him and everything ahead. But I wanted a happy ending, more than anything I've ever wanted in my life.