All I Want

15

I arrived home. It was the same place, not that I expected it to be different, I just hoped I was going to feel different. I stared at the stairs, as I tried to take some courage in. I wasn't ready to face my parents and I was one hundred percent positive they were going to throw at my face the zero amount of responsibility I had during this whole situation. I could hear my mother laughing and it wasn't because of my dad, that's another thing I was positive about. I knew well he didn't make her happy, they were pulling off this perfect marriage situation. They thought I bought it, but I knew the very first day it was over between them. I took a deep breath and headed up stairs. I pressed my lips together, as I got closer to my parents' bedroom. I stood on the door frame, waiting for my mother to notice my presence.

"Oh my God," We looked at each other and I wish it had taken her longer, I wish she could have given me enough time to retrace my steps. "I'll get back to you later Susanne, bye." She ended the call and walked closer to me. 

"Hi, mother. Here I am, your wishes were granted." She extended her arms and went in for a hug. It was a tight one, as if years passed by without seeing me. I hugged her back, just placing my arms slightly on her back. 

"We told Conor you were shopping in Los Angeles. He came here with a bouquet of roses and-"

"Okay mom," I interrupted. "I'm tired of driving, the least I want to do is talk about him. I get it, I did wrong and he's being nice, but I don't buy it and I never will."

"I thought you had changed your mind about him." I rolled my eyes.

"I'm going to marry him because that's the right thing to do, not because I want to."

"Oh Lord," She said. I turned around, starting to walk away from her. "When are you going to give up this whim? Harold is pathetic and not worth it. He's a mechanic for God's sake!" She yelled. 

"Mom," I turned around to face her. "He made the choice to let me go. He called you and I know you said horrible things to him."

"I did." She confessed, no remorse whatsoever.

"He's wonderful." I walked toward my room and shut the door behind me. 

"Taylor!" I heard she yelling on the other side of the door. I took a deep breath. "We have a dinner tonight. Conor's coming so dress properly." I rolled my eyes and sat on the edge of the bed. I threw my body on the bed and decided to get some rest. I wanted to shut my mind off. I didn't want to think about Conor or my parents or Harold, even though the last one was the only thing going on in my mind. It was impossible not to think about him, but I had to stop. My name was being repeated numerous times. I rubbed my eyes as someone decided to wake me up from my sleep. 

"Come in." I said. I yawned in exhaustion and stared at the door, waiting to see who was the source of the knocking. I was to tired to even try to distinguish sounds.

"Hey love." 

"Hey dad, it's nice to see you." He smiled, walking toward the bed. Once he sat next to me, he placed a kiss on my temple.

"I can say the same thing. I bought you a dress for tonight. I hope you like it."

"Are you bribing me or something?" I scoffed. "Don't worry, I'll marry him."

"You know what I believe?" I nodded. "I believe you haven't fallen out of love, I know you still love him. I believe you are confusing emotions with feelings."

"Dad, I know what I feel and no one can tell me how I'm feeling or what I'm thinking. No one."

"This is just a fancy guess, darling. I believe things will get back to normal." He replied.

"Dad, I hope you don't take this the wrong way, but I know why are you saying and doing all of this. You don't want to go to jail and I get it, so don't worry. Now leave me alone so I can dress up." He pressed his lips together, nodding. I looked away from him and when he turned his back on me, my eyes followed him all the way to the door. I took out the dress from the bag and it was beautiful, the perfect shade of blue. It was short, but not too short and it matched perfectly with my favorite earrings. I decided to take a quick shower before putting on tonight's outfit. I let the water fall all over my body as the only thought I could process was taking a shower earlier today, as Harold slept. I turned the dial and reached for the towel. I covered my self with it and took a quick glance at my reflection in the mirror placed above the sink. I walked over to the dress that was perfectly waiting to be worn. My hair was fixed in a half tail and I gently placed some red lipstick. The usual.

"Taylor, Conor's downstairs." I heard my mom saying from outside my room. 

"I'll be down in a few seconds," I spoke, waiting for the sound of her walking away to appear. The dress slipped down on my body perfectly. "I'm forgetting something," I said to myself as I looked at my reflection. "Eyeliner," I grabbed my liquid pencil and traced a perfect small wing on my both my eyelids. "Perfect." I mumbled. Before walking out, I noticed the bag I took with me on my one day secret rendezvous. I felt a gulp in my throat, but I shook my head, trying to remove any Harold thoughts. I was out of my room and as I headed downstairs there he was. Suit and tie. 

"Hello there fincée." He spoke. We were facing each other and I swear I wasn't in the mood for all of this.

"Conor." Flat tone in my voice.

"You look lovely," He placed a kiss on my cheek. "How was your shopping trip?" He asked as we walked toward the dining room. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. Then I remembered that's what my mother told him about me being away.

"It was amazing. I bought so many beautiful dress and the shoes," I bit my lip. "Don't even get me started on the shoes." I gave him a hypocritical smile and sat down. Conor and my parents followed me and after seconds of silence, Conor decided to break it.

"I want to make a toast," All of us raised our glasses. I knew what he was about to say, it was obvious. "First, to thank you for this lovely dinner we have here and second, to tell my lovely fiancée how much I love her." All of them smiled, except for me. I had no reason to.