All I Want

22

I looked at my surroundings through my sun glasses, I tapped my high heels on the floor as I waited impatiently for Conor. The waitress came around my table for the fifth time in an hour.

"Miss, are you ready to order?" She asked, I took off my sunglasses and looked at her. 

"Can you just wait please?" I asked. 

"We sort of need the table, and uh, if you are not waiting for someone or ordering anything for that matter-"

"Listen," I interrupted. "I'm staying here in the table, my fiancé is a Kennedy, do you want troubles with him?" I'm usually not rude with waitresses, but she was getting on my nerves. Conor was too.

"Sorry m'am, excuse me." I took a deep breath and put on my sun glasses back on. Minutes after Conor was walking through the door with shades on and his smile, he greeted someone from another table from a far and I watched him as he walked over to our table. I rolled my eyes, but he couldn't see.

"Hey, love," He kissed my cheek, but I didn't make a move. He raised his finger to call the waitress. She hurried her away toward us. "Scotch and a martini for the lady. Thank you."

"What took you so long?" I asked, flat. I was actually really pissed off at the fact he made me wait for him for an hour. I was even more pissed at myself, I kept waiting for him. I should've left. 

"I got carried away with someone at the office," He chuckled. "Won't happen again."

"Why are you chuckling?" He shook his head. "Okay, I don't care, let's get over with that house situation."

"I already bought the house Taylor, end of discussion. Don't you dare say anything else, I'm tired of trying my hardest here, but it's obvious you have your heart and mind somewhere else that's not us." Everyone in the restaurant was starting to look at us. The waitress arrived with our drinks, I smiled at her. Conor did too. I remained silent as I wanted for the waitress to leave. 

"Don't you start a mess here, everyone's watching." I begged. He pressed his lips together. 

"Fine, stand up, we are leaving."

"I'm hungry, I don't want to leave." I said, putting my arms crossed against my chest. He rubbed his temples, which meant I was getting on his nerves. I didn't care.

"I don't care, stand up," I took a deep breath, grabbed my purse and walked away. I was out of the restaurant in a matter of seconds, I turned around and through the glass I could see him leaving the money on the table. As he turned around toward me, I turned around and headed to the car. I stood there with arms crossed, waiting for him to open the car. "Get in," He demanded. I opened the door and with such a strength I shut it. He did too. "I can't believe you, you know what Taylor? I fucking hate this."

"If you hate it so much, why don't you let me go?" I said, between my teeth. I couldn't dare to look at him.

"I have faith things will go back to normal. If my plan goes exactly the way I want it to." He flipped the engine and started driving.

"What plan? And where are we going?"

"I need to stop for some beer." He answered one question only. I furrowed my eyebrows at him, waiting for the rest of what I needed to hear.

"What plan Conor?" He smiled, never leaving his eyes off the road.

"We are moving away from here and there's no discussion. We'll start with our family the very first second we spend married and," He paused for a second. "I have something else in store, but it has nothing to do with you and I. There's something else involved."

"Something else?" He nodded. We arrived at the gas station. 

"Wait for me here, I'll go buy some beer at the Circle K." He said. I watched him get out of the car. I pressed my lips together as he got inside the store. I started to look around the car, curiously. I wanted to know if he was with some other girl, not that I didn't care, but I didn't want to be the town's joke. I found a manila folder, I took in my hands and opened it. 

"No way." I said to myself. The folder had pictures of me with Harold. I pressed my lips together, trying to remain calmed. I wanted to cry. I looked at the store and Conor was still there, he was paying at the cashier so I had to eye the pictures really fast. There weren't five pictures, I counted them. Thirty to be more exact and they were from different days. I could easily tell. I shove the pictures inside as I heard his footsteps. I threw the folder in the back seat and crossed my arms. I glanced at the window, trying so hard to control everything I wanted to say. He opened the door and threw the beers on the back.

"I'm having a guys night, whatever you want to call it, so I have to get you home." He spoke. 

"Fine," I nodded. My arms were still crossed. I couldn't speak anything else. I was furious. The entire drive home was silent. No one spoke a word. I felt as if he knew exactly what just happened when he went for the beer. "Thanks for the ride." I said, not even looking at him. I opened the door and he touched my shoulder. This time I faced him. 

"I love you," I nodded. "Do you?" I nodded again. I got out of the car and shut the door. I watched him as he drove away and when he was far enough I broke down. I sat right on the door step and cried my eyes out. My arms were wrapped around my legs and my head sideways on my arms. I could easily picture myself: mascara running down my cheeks and stuffy eyes. I heard foot steps. I cleaned my face and stood up. It was Alondra, she was doing her gardening chores. I gave her a quick smile and entered. The house was lonely and I felt that way too.