Meraki

I Am Too Late

I know that he does not love me anymore

not in the way he used to.

I can see it in his eyes

they don't light up as he looks into mine.

But I am to blame.

For I am the one who made that beautiful fucking light in his eyes die.

I am the one who hurt him.

I killed his soul.

I ripped his heart right through his chest.

And now

here I stand

with blood all over my hands

trying to find a way to put the pieces back together.

Trying to find a way to fix what I have so heartlessly broken.

Because I broke him.

God knows I shattered him into a million fucking pieces.

So who am I

to come back and try to fix him?

I lost my chance.

Because that is how love works.

It comes in waves.

It's like you're surfing

and trying to catch the perfect wave.

But what do you do

when you miss the perfect wave?

Do you try again?

Or do you give up?

Because although you're still in the same fucking ocean

you will never find another wave as perfect as the last.

But I am to blame.

I am the one that missed the wave.

And maybe

I am just too late.

-C.D.