Show Me Your Face

Loosing Hope, One Innocence

Eren's POV:

I was loosing it

My sanity, it was draining away. It fell away from me, eroded away from my mind with every thrash of the whip, or every scream that sounded Erwin's wretched name, asking him to forgive me for the sin I never did 

My hands shook constantly now, I lost my sense of time. My body was becoming a shell, my mind simply a uneven slop of memories and hopes

Petra drifted away from the soft bridge of friendship we had tried to build. Levi's name was starting to loose it's sense of life.

The only one I talked to now, was Linda. A small child, new to this world yet more mature then most adults these days.

Linda's innocence was obvious but her strength even more so.

I talked to her every other day, she now waited for me. She once told me her parents hated the kingdom, in the dirt of course, and she had told them about me

She said they felt bad for me, and if I ever needed help to just ask

It was a new shard of hope, but how could I trust it?

Erwin still treated me as a servent, it made me sick to think of what he was waiting for. It made me wonder if he even wanted to use me in that way.

I was scared, jumpy. Nothing felt safe anymore, my back was scarred beyond repare...And my mind close to it.

It was night, another sleepless one. Laying in bed, looking at the ceiling. My ribs were starting to show, my will to live chipping away

I gripped onto my sheets, the plain brown fabric almost scratchy between my rough hands. I stared up at the ceiling, my eyes unmoving

I tried to think of the good things, tried to remember what Armin's eyes were like, or what Jean's attitude always made me mad, maybe even Miaksa's small smile

Or Levi's soft, hesitate kiss

The thoughts were there, the answers racing around the finish line but never crossing it

All but for one answer, Levi's kiss. His being, his beautiful face. It kept me alive if that doesn't sound cheesy, like a teenager depending on their favorite music, or the elderly depending on their stories.

My mind drifted to my imagination, thinking of when Levi and I would reunite. I smiled slightly at the dream, but it vanished quickly knowing it was just a dream.

If I ever saw Levi again, it would most likely be in the afterlife

I sighed, my hands rubbing my eyes tiredly as my body slowly fell asleep.

Asleep it stayed till the morning call the next day

--

I rolled out of bed, not bothering to stretch my aching wounds. My back stung still, wrappings around the long cuts to insure I didn't die

I got dressed and moved again

I dragged my feet forward, heading to the kitchen. It was still dark outside, my hand raising to flip the lightswitch in the kitchen

The dark room came to life as the white lights flickered on. I went to the fridge, pulling out some breakfast food for Erwin and placing it on the counter.

My hands set down a tray, a set of plates and utensils. My fingers learned to be delicate, setting down a saucer and tea cup.

Going to the cupboard, I took out a matching tea pot, boiling water and pouring it into the pot, lastly setting in a tea-filled strainer to let it steep.

Then I proceeded to chop up fruits, making it into a breakfast salad with pieces of toast on the side.

Jam set to the side of course

By the time the food was set on the large tray, the sun was up. Erwin would be in his breakfast room by now

My stomach flipped in fear as I picked up the tray, walking forward and down to where Erwin would be

Like every morning, he was sitting a the end of the long table. The 'Daily Titan' in his hands as maids did his hair and even some massaged his feet

Like the lazy bastard he was

I set down the tray before him, pouring the tea and mixing in what he preferred. I spooned some food onto a plate

I picked up a fork, stabbing a strawberry I brought it to his mouth. My hand shook as he bit down on it, his eyes not leaving the paper

He let out an approving hum at the food. I sighed in releif silently and continued to feed his disgusting ass

Through all the torture and time here, the thought of him being revolting never left once

Suddenly he looked over at me, causing me to jump half way to bringing a banana to his mouth

"You know...You would look good in a dress..." He said and leaned his elbows on the table, staring me up and down. I shook in disgust but barely showed that

I bowed, "y-yes master" I said trying to keep my voice steady, "thank you sir"

Erwin let out an approving nod, "change at once. Petra will give you a dress"

My eyes widened, really debating whether to stick the fork in my hands in his eye and gut his brains out

Petra was at my side before I could make a decision, leading me out of the room like so many other times

Handing me a small blue dress, telling me to put it on with a sympathetic look

Unfortunately, I did just that

Levi please...Don't see me like this

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