Fifty Shades of Dove and Grenade

Life and Loss

I grasp Kate's hand as though the world was going to end. Pain paints a worried and fearful expression on her innocent looking face. The doctors exchange notes, shooting worried glances at Kate. They quietly argue amongst each other, fear pounding through their veins. They nod as a doctor quietly walks towards Kate.
"Mrs. Bussek," the doctor with jet black hair rubs his sweaty palms nervously.
"Y-yes?" Kate asks, worry and pain creeping into her sweet voice.
"I'm afraid we're going to have to preform a c-section to deliver your child-"
"Ok."
"However, this will result in massive blood loss, you could possibly die."
Kate stared at him, her sparkling, blue eyes glistening with fear and determination. "Deliver my f*cking baby!"
"What?!" I spit, shocked and scared "Kate, don't do this! We can just have another kid! I'm not going to lose you!"
Her blue pools stare gently into mine "Matty, I've made so many memories with you, I've lived an amazing life. Now, give our child that same opportunity. Be the best dad ever, promise me that."
"Ok,"  Tears break through the dams of my eyes "I promise."
I squeeze her hand tighter than an anaconda clenches its prey, I never let go for even a second. Like last time, the delivery was gruesome and gore-filled , and not anything I'd possess the desire to discuss.
However, witnessing Kate hold my newborn son was worth everything. She was growing weaker by the minute, the doctors were right, she did lose a majority of her blood.
"What's the baby's name?" The same nurse from the receptionist desk asks Kate and I.
I glance at Kate, using every ounce of strength to prevent myself from crying enough tears to fill the ocean.
"Alexander." I mumble, my hand refusing to leave Kate's.
"Ok, can you spell it?" The nurse asks.
So, I do, my worry for Kate increasing by the minute.
As the nurse prints the birth certificate, and the doctors clean my son, Kate heart rate steadily decreases on the heart rate monitor. Making a beep, pausing for one second, and beeping again.
Realizing it wouldn't be long before her heart stops completely, she uses her last ounce of strength to kiss me as hard as she can. I kiss her back with all my might, realizing it would be the last time her tongue ever licked itself against mine. I continue to squeeze her hand as Alexander is lightly settled into her gentle, tattooed arms.
She runs her hand along the side of my face, tussling my hair for the last time. She whispers, tears forming in her beautiful eyes "Take good care of my children, Matthew. I love you."
The monitor gives a long, gloomy beep as Kate's eyes close and never open, her hand lowering from my face.
"Kate?" I frantically shake her, desperate for a sign of life. "Kate?! KATELYNN!!! NO!!!" I scream, collapsing on the side of her bed crying furiously, still squeezing her hand.
Kate was gone.
I haven't sobbed this much since I found out that Allissa wasn't my child. No, this is the hardest I've ever sobbed. I hug her tightly, my tears staining her pajamas. I kiss her lifeless lips "I love you, too." I whisper between sniffles, just before crying again.
The doctors shuffle out of the room, leaving me to cry for the loss of my wife. Through my pounding tears, I hear Alexander crying. This is the first time I've really noticed him.
I pick him up, and hug him as tight as I can to me as rain falls from the clouds of my eyes.
I hold him as though he were my most prized possession. Studying his features, I notice tufts of black, curly hair that look just like mine. He really is my son. His eyes open as my grip tightens on him. Oh my god, his eyes look exactly like Kate's, even the gleams she possessed were in the exact same locations and just as bright and beautiful. Alexander is the last piece of Kate, I have to treasure him.
"I swear, I will protect you." I whisper through tears, kissing my son.
I'm still holding Kate's hand, I give it one final squeeze, and whisper.
"I'll fulfill your wish if it's the last thing I ever do."
I kiss her forehead, and sulk out, hugging Alexander as each of my steps echoes in the dark, desolate hallway.
I arrive at the waiting room, everyone is still here, alive and celebrating. I'd hate douse their light, but they need to know what happened.
"Hey, Kurlzz!" Johnny approaches me, tussling my hair.
I say nothing, but stare sadly into his sky blue eyes, and starting to cry again.
He notices my tears, enveloping me into a hug identical to the one from that night eons ago.
"What's wrong?" He whispers "Where's Kate?"
I cry harder, pulling him closer to me.
"You don't mean-"
I nod, tears dripping onto and staining his hoodie.
"Oh my god." He starts crying, hugging me so tight and hard, I'm in pain.
"What's wrong you two?" Charlie asks, noticing our sadness.
"Kate's gone." I announce weakly, yet everyone hears me.
"NO!" Kyle screams to me "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! I WISH YOU'VE NEVER MET MY SISTER!!! I'LL BE DAMNED IF I LET YOU RAISE MY NEPHEW!!!"
"I'M UPSET TOO, BUT YOU CAN'T MY KID AWAY!!!" I shout back.
Kyle's blue eyes burn with anger. He raises his fist and punches my face, nearly knocking my teeth out. His foot digs deep into my stomach, knocking me to the ground. I lay on the floor in a pool of blood and tears. Johnny pulls Kyle off of me, attempting to restrain the angry beast. Instead, Johnny's efforts are useless as Kyle begins attacking him as well.
"I'M GONNA BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!!!" He screams.
He's a puma, lunging out of Johnny's arms and on top of me, continuing to claw me like an angry cat. Charlie and Johnny continue to pull him off me as my face gets frosted in bruises, scratches, and blood. Finally, my bandmates pin Kyle to the floor, preventing movement in him.
"I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!!!" He screeches just before breaking down and crying.
Tears and blood stream from my gory face, Alexander asleep in my arms.
"I want my sister back..." Kyle sniffles, his energy evaporated from his body.
My anger towards him melts to sympathy, watching Johnny hold him like he would break if he added too much pressure.
Stroking Kyle's hair, Johnny whispers "I know you do, all of us do..."
Charlie and Randi rush over towards me, helping me to my feet.
"It's ok, we've got you." Randi whispers, her attention focused on forlorn Allissa.
"Where's momma?" She gazes around the room, her innocent eyes focused on the depressing atmosphere.
Tears form in her eyes, soon crying as though her birthday was cancelled.
"I'm sorry, baby." Jordan stares into her sparkly, blue eyes. "I don't know how to tell you this, but...but...sh-she's gone..."
"Gone where?" Allissa asks her father, squeezing his hand.
"No, she's in heaven." He starts to cry.
"When is she coming back?" She hugs him tighter.
"Not soon enough." He sniffles before bursting into tears.