Chapter 12: The Choice
"There is no such things as no choice. Everyone has one."
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"What are you doing here?" Biglang tanong ko sa kanya ng naka-recover na ako sa gulat. He was smiling brightly at me and the lines in his necks are gone.
"Talking to you." He cheekily said and all the nervous bones in me disappeared.
"No! I meant, why are you here?" I scowled at him. Nawala siya ng anim na buwan at ngayon bumalik siya na parang walang problema!
"Because of you."
I hate him. "I hate you."
"Why—"
"Kasi nakakainis ka."
"What did I do?"
"Sabi mo babalik. You said that you won't completely—"
"Wala akong sinabing ganyan."
"Okay fine, you did not! But you implied it!" I tried to fight back but I know I lost the fight when he chuckled.
Instead of answering me, he dragged me towards him and embraced me. I can't help but hugged him back tighter.
"I missed you." He whispered softly. Mas lalo niyang hinigpitan ang kanyang yakap sa'kin. "I missed you so much."
Nanatili kaming nakayakap sa isa't isa until I realized that we look like a couple from other's point of you— although no one can see us.
"Its weird that we are hugging at your turf." I told him.
"That's your reply I spilled my feelings for you?" I heard him chuckle when I tensed from his words. Binitiwan niya ak ngunit ay nakahawak pa din ito sa baywang ko. "What do you mean, my turf?"
"You know, the cemetery? Death?"
He shook his head. "The only turf I want is the one at your heart."
"Stop that!" I said, blushing furiously and tried to shift the topic. Buti nalang at naalala ko ang isang importanteng bagay. "Just... Tell me the truth, now."
"Not here Felicity." Binitiwan niya ako at hinawakan ang aking kanang kamay. Tinignan niya ang kanyang kapaligiran bago ako hilain palabas ng sementaryo.
"Bakit?" Taka kong tanong. Natatakot siya sa mga... patay? It couldn't be, that would be absurd!
"The lost souls. They are all around."
***
"You want to talk about it here?"
"Uh-hu."
"Really? In a cave?" Nasa medyo labas kami ng kweba at nakaupo sa isang malapad na trunk ng napugot na puno.
"What? It has privacy and no lost souls will follow us here. Afterall, they are afraid to cross the doors of death."
"Wait, w-where are we?"
"In the entrance of the souls to the underworld."
I gulped. He sighed.
"That's why I'll have to discuss it here. Because if the lost souls would hear it, who know what might happen to you. And I won't allow that to happen again."
"You're confusing me." I said. Posible bang may iba pa siyang babaeng tinulungan noon at may nangyari sa kanya? The thought left a bitter taste in my mouth.
"I know. But you'll know." He smiled softly as he placed his hand on top of mine.
"Now tell me the truth." Serioso kong sabi sa kanya.
"I will but before that, I could not tell you the truth while depriving you of a choice. So listen, Felicity." He said and I nodded my head. He faced me with a grim expression.
"If I'll tell you the truth, you'll have to accept your... fate." He said softly and looked away guiltily. Kahit hindi niya sabihin ay alam ko ang ibig sabihin noon. I cupped his face and urged him to look straight into my eyes. He did.
"If I don't?"
"Then you'll not remember any of this." He cupped my left hand and closed his eyes. He smiled sadly. "I'll just be a passing dream... And you'll continue live normally. You'll forget all about the memories we have shared. You'll forget about me."
A tear escaped his eyes.
"Yanis."
"Please, don't let my tears affect your decision." He told me. "Piliin mo kong asan ka masaya. Kahit anong piliin mo, proprotektahan pa din kita."
"Yanis—"
"You don't have to decide now. You have the day, Felicity." I did not reply and we let the silence engulfed us as the sun sets. While its getting later, I asked him the thing that has been bothering me.
"Yanis... When I was drowning for the second time. I heard you say something but I couldn't decipher it." I said while looking at the sky. "Anong sinabi mo?"
Silence.
"Next questions please." Sinamaan ko siya ng tingin habang tinawanan niya ako.
"Then you'll have to answer my next question!"
"Shoot."
"If you'll choose for me... What will it be?" I asked and his smiling face faded like how the night immersed so suddenly.
"I would want you to live." He said softly while looking straight into my eyes.
"You want me to forget you?"
"No. But if that what it takes to see you smile and live your life, then yes." That triggered something in me. Bigla akong nainis sa sagot niya.
"How dare you assume that I'll be happy when I forget you."
"Won't you be? Your family is here, your friends are here. At kung sakali..." He looked away. "...Your love is here."
"I hate you." I told him. Oo, gusto kong mabuhay at makapiling pa sila kuya. Oo, magiging masaya ako dahil ang mga mahal ko sa buhay ay nandito. Pero ba't parang may tinatago siya sa'kin? Why is it okay for him to just let me go that easily? I thought he would... Just be him.
"Felicity. I can't decide for you but I want you to know that my happiness does not have to cause your loneliness. Because if you chose to be with me... choose to succumb to fate... I can't... forgive me... when you regret it." He shook his head. " I would prefer you to forget about me than regret the times you knew it."
"You selfish bastard."
"Felicity—"
Tumakbo ako. Tumakbo ako hanggang sa nanghina ang paa ko at pagtigil ko, hindi ko na maalala ang pinaggalingan ko.
I'm lost and what's worst is that...
I felt like someone's watching me.
BINABASA MO ANG
FALLACY OF DEATH (short story)
Kısa Hikaye"You can't love." "Why?" "Because you are not capable of..." "...of loving?" "No... Of living." That's what he said. He who possess the power to destroy my life on one snap of his finger. He who shatters my dream... my hope... and my last strand...
