Stars Can't Shine Without Darkness (Stellar)

Chapter 1

      Tala was smoking on the front porch when the small gate opened. Matt came in but she was too spaced out to notice it. He tapped her gently on her shoulder.

     “Can’t sleep again?” he asked as he sat beside her. It wasn’t unusual for him to find her awake in the wee hours.

     “I had another hypnopompic hallucination” she took another puff. It was enough to cause her emotional havoc that could warrant a session with a psychiatrist.

     “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

     “If I could just permanently delete it in my memory, I would” she said in such distress.

     “Why didn’t you wake up Jake?” he asked.

     “I want to but your cousin has an early meeting later” she tried her best not to cry. She didn’t want to freak him out. It was only Jake who could pacify her when she was going through something.

     “Let’s eat tapsilog or goto, my treat” he gave her a nudge because she was spacing out again.

     “But you just got home, I’m sure you’re exhausted already” she was hesitant.

     “Actually I’m in the mood to drink” he sighed. 

     “A bottle of beer or something else?” Tala asked. His choice of drink would indicate how much he is willing to be wasted. She really didn’t need to ask him if he had another row with his girlfriend. His sigh gave it away.

     “I think we still have a bottle of scotch or whiskey inside” he answered. 

     “Nasty fight?” she asked but the answer was pretty obvious. A bottle of beer would simply mean that he was only annoyed with his girlfriend. A bottle of scotch or whiskey means he’s really furious.

      “One glass” she told him her limit.

     “Come on, make it two” he bargained.

     “Just one or you’re drinking alone again” she said as she put the cigarette butt in the ashtray. She looked at the street and she froze.

     “What?” Matt asked as he studied her face.

     “Nothing” she lied.

     “Flashes of light or orbs?” he asked. It was top two on her hallucination list.

     “Shadow people” she answered as she quickly walked towards the front door. She didn’t like that particular hallucination.

     “Have you been to a paranormal expert? Are you sure you’re just not highly sensitive?”

     “I used to believe my third eye was open” she told him as she entered the house.

     “What happened?” Matt asked as he followed her.

     “Well if you believe in that shenanigan, the first thing that you should know is that every person in this planet has a third eye. I pass everything as hallucinations, it’s easier that way” she said as she closed the door. She felt explaining why but she felt he wasn’t in the mood for her weird talks. When she was still seeing her shrink, at one point her doctor was baffled as to why she was still hallucinating. She was on two anti psychotics already and probably tried all that was available in the market. Her shrink was open to the idea that she might just be really gifted so it was suggested to look at that side. She did talk to somebody who was a medium and ventured on that thought but there were times she felt the person didn’t believe her. It just made her feel torn again so she went back to labeling all those stuff as hallucinations.

     “There are times I wish I knew what goes in your mind” he blurted out.

    “It’s not a nice place to dwell in even for a short period of time” she joked but it really didn’t sound funny to her. If she lived in the time where lobotomy was practiced she would volunteer to have the procedure in a heartbeat. She would have herself spayed too if it was legal and safe for humans, it was a joke she heard from her favorite TV show and it appealed to her. Sometimes her mind amuses her. Being deranged has its perks.

     “I am getting the vibe that you just changed your mind about that one glass limit” Matt laughed.

“Damn right, let’s get wasted till we knock ourselves unconscious” she smirked as they headed to the bar.

       Tala woke up pretty disoriented. She realized she was lying on her bed. The last thing that she remembered is that she was having a drinking session with Matt in the living room. She doesn’t recall going to her room. She got up and went straight to the bathroom. As soon as she was finished with her morning routine she went out of her room. She found Matt sleeping on the carpet hugging the bottle of whiskey. She poked him with her left foot because she was too lazy to bend. He fidgeted. He’s fine, she told herself so she continued to walk.

     “Jake instructed me to give you paracetamol for your headache” Manang Ising told her when she entered the kitchen.

     “Was he the one who brought me to my room?” she asked the helper as she got a mug on the rack. She couldn’t wait to have her caffeine fix.

     “Eat first. I cooked chicken noodle soup for you and Matthew. And yes, Jake was the one who carried you to your room. He found you sleeping on the bench at the front porch” Manang handed her a bowl of soup.

     “Oh” was all that she could mutter. She must have went outside to smoke but passed out. She bet Jake would lecture her.

     “You promised River you’ll help her re-organize the boutique today” Manang reminded her.

     “Don’t worry I didn’t forget. We’ll do it when the shop is closed tonight” she replied as she took her first sip. “Is our landlady home?” she asked. Everyone in the house found it hilarious when they refer to her as their landlady. River found it amusing too so she would hand them nonsense house rules for kicks. Technically she really is because she owns the house. She inherited the place when her maternal grandparents passed away. They were the ones who raised her and Manang Ising has been with her since she was little.

     “She’s brainstorming with a client today” Manang answered as she handed her a glass of water and a paracetamol.

      “I think that’s what she’s doing today” Manang answered. The landline started ringing. Tala had to cringe. She’s not really fond of speaking over the phone. The phone ring is enough to make her squirm like that. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of her issues. Through the years she just learned to deal with it when something comes up.