I try and go to sleep, but I just lay thinking about Peeta and me. Our relationship.The Revolution. Haymitch told me to give Peeta a while to sort things out and have him come to me, so I would know he is “back to normal”. I had occasionally seen him at the Seam, the Meadow, and I had even seen him visiting Her grave. We had regular conversations like, “Hey, how are you, see you around,” but I couldn’t stand it. I needed his arms around me at night when I was having nightmares about the Games. I needed his wise words. But most of all, I needed to be sure he was okay.
Every now and then I would see Haymitch go over and help him when his was having a flashback. I wanted so badly to run over and help Peeta, but I knew it would be too dangerous. There was a part of me that didn’t care if he was trying to kill me, I just needed his big, strong arms around me.
One fall morning, I decided to go hunting. I hadn’t really gone hunting anymore, but I needed a distraction frrm Peeta. My bow was still in the same hollow log it had been in for years now. There weren’t really any animals out now except for squirrels and rabbits. I set up two snares and waited for the perfect moment. Just as I was about to shoot a squirrel, I hear footsteps behind me. Turning around slowly, still holding my bow, I see those one of a kind glistening eyes staring at me, and i just drwon in them. I set down my bow and stood motionless. Speechless. There stood the boy with the bread... my boy with the bread.
Without saying anything Peeta pulled me into a hug. Oh, how have I longed for this? A small tear escapes my eye and I before I could even say anything I see Haymitch running towards us prying Peeta off of me. Haymitch has Peeta in some sort of a hold and I just sink down beside a tree crying… hysterically.
I was not even mad at Haymitch, I was devested at the fact that Peeta missed me too. I knew he was better, still not the old Peeta, but I will take it. Haymitch came back to me and apologized, he explained he thought Peeta was attacking me. He saw I was not in the mood to talk so he decided to leave, but before he left he left with saying, “You really love him, don’t you sweetheart.” I looked at him not saying anything and Haymitch is gone.
I never really thought that I loved Peeta so much. I’ve had a tough time accepting the fact that I loved anyone after the war, fearing that they will get taken away from me.
After about a good three hours of crying and thinking about if I love Peeta or not, I decided to go back to my house in the Victor’s Village. Despite my growling stomach, I went straight up to the shower and cleaned myself from the dried tears and dirt. I even remember what I wore, too, a simple shirt and sweatpants. i just really freaking love sweatpants. When got the stregnth to eat, I went to the kitchen and ate some cheese buns, then went back to my room.
Peeta's house is right next to mine and since his windows were open, as always, I opened mine to, in hopes to get a glimpse of Peeta. After seeing him that afternoon, I need to see him.
Peeta told me always. I never thought always meant never, in the Capitol's eyes. __________________________________________________________
No school for me today, again! Thank you SNOW! ha! I might do another update later!
So, there are rumors going around about JLaw and Nicholas being engaged, if it it true, I am super happy for her and Nicholas! Even though i am a Joshifer shipper ALL THE FREAKING WAY! If Jenn is happy then I am happy :) i guess...
xx Madd
