“I’m sorry.”
“Huh?” Peeta just looks so confused and I feel bad because I’m confused, I don’t even know why I’m crying. I don’t know why until the words come out of my mouth-
“I know you, Peeta. I know when you see me play with Flynn it kills you inside. I know that, and don’t say it doesn’t because I know it does.” I just continue to cry in Peeta’s shirt.
“This whole thing just took a left turn.” Peeta says with a smirk and he is humor is pissing me the fuck off right now.
“I’m so confused. I don’t know whether to be happy or sad. I don’t know whether to cry or smile. I’m so confused.”
“Well I think you know whether to cry or not.”
“Can you stop with your damn humor, oh my God? Seriously, Peeta,” I try to stay calm because I don’t want to get more worked up.
“So you want to talk about this know?” I just look up at him with tears in my eyes, and I know, for a fact, this is going to end up in a fight.
“No,” I whisper.
“Well, you can just sit there and listen then...” he pauses and then starts, “You are 100% right, Katniss, every time I see you with Flynn it does kill me. It kills me because-”
“I thought you were gonna talk about what happened with Gale.” I say more confused and Peeta just stares at me.
“Are you okay?”
“Let’s just go to bed, I’m just done with today. I love you,” I say going up and giving him a kiss.
“Like I said before, you can just sit there and listen because I need to get this off of my chest.” I just get more worked up, because I have never seen Peeta act like this before. I just turn my head and lay down. “I’m sorry Katniss, I can’t do this with you anymore.” I immediately shoot straight up and the dizziness comes back and I feel the urge to vomit. What the hell does he mean? This party just turned the whole night into a disaster. I- my train of thought gets thrown off as I just barely make it to the bathroom to throw up. I just sit on the bathroom floor-talking to myself and crying. I just feel Peeta’s hand around me when I go to stand up. I ignore it and just walk to the bed and cover myself up in the blankets.
“You know I didn’t mean it that way, Katniss.” The guilt in his eyes is almost unbearable to me.
“You sounded pretty convincing to me.” I allow before I start to ball my eyes out more. I just focus on sleeping to block out Peeta’s apology, but there are just so many words in my head I can’t fathom them. “When I said always, I meant it. And I thought you did too.” I just fall apart into my pillow and cry.
“The last thing I ever want to do is hurt you, you know I honestly didn’t mean it that way.” Peeta says as he comes over to me. “And, I knew I loved you since I was five, I think I meant always.” He attempts to make me smile but I just look up at him with loving eyes.
“I just, I-I felt trapped with Gale coming here, I was starting to think about the wedding, and I think-” before those last few words came out of my mouth I stopped myself because I know why I am feeling all emotional and shit, I just can’t allow myself to think I am pregnant right now.
“You what?” Peeta says stroking my arm, but I just shake my head, “Just the thought of you leaving kills me.”
“Well, I’m staying right here with you, always.” Peeta says giving me a passionate kiss.
These are the moments I love, not the fighting, but feeling his arms around me and his warm breath on my neck. Moments like these, I cherish because I know one day I won’t have them anymore.
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Sorry this is such a short chapter but I felt it was a good place to stop, i am working on the next chapter because i haven't updated in a few days and this is a short chapter! ILYASM!!!! keep the votes and reads coming!
I am conflivted on a few ideas i have and I am open to ANY suggestions, LMK!!
xx Madd
