I instantly get a pit in my stomach and my palms get all sweaty. My hands start to shake badly and I just feel like I have been hit but a train. Dr. Krane explains they are pregnancy symptoms, but not in my case. I already know what she means.
“I understand you have been through two Hunger Games and a Rebellion, yes,” I shake my head, “I am going to take a stress test before I make any further, uh speculations.” She gets up and walks out of the room, and I just start to freak out.
“Katniss, everything is okay. Okay?” Annie tries to calm me down but it’s not working.
“Alright, Katniss,” Dr. Krane walks back in with this, I don’t even know how to explain it, tool I guess you would say, “I think your problem is your anxiety, but before I go on I want to test you to be positive.” I just shook my head and kept all of my worries inside of me.
Dr. Krane slides “the tool” on my arm and starts squeezing this ball. My palms instantly start to get moist from the sweat and now I wish Peeta was here to comfort me. Dr. Krane squeezes the ball until I almost lose all feeling in my arm. She records the numbers on “the tool” and I brace myself for the worst. I feel Annie’s hand across my back and she gives me a sad smile.
“From what I can see, you get worked up were easily and your anxiety may come from being through the Games and the War,” I start crying, I cut the doctor off,
“You’re not telling me anything that I don’t know.” I get a blank stare from both Annie and Dr. Krane, “After my first Games…” I stop there and cry some more. Everyone stays silent until I get the courage to speak up again, “I already knew about my anxiety,” is all I can manage.
“How have you been managing with it then?” Dr. Krane asks after about a minute of awkward silence. I just sit there and don’t answer. “Katniss,” she says, but I just shrug my shoulders. “Okay, then, uh how about we try some therapy-” but before she can finish I interject, “No, absolutely no. I Will. Not. Go. To. Therapy.”
“Well, Katniss its either therapy or medication, so you decide.” Now what person in their right mind would want to choose between therapy and medication? For fucks sake I know I don’t.
“Why can’t I just not do anything about it?”
“Then it will only get worse, and-” I cut Dr. Krane off,
“Worse, I am already permanently damaged from the Games and the War. Nothing will change the scars on my body or the nightmares I suffer. Nothing.” I say sternly but not harsh. I think.
“Therapy or medication.” I look down at my engagement ring, and I feel horrible for not telling Peeta the truth, “Can I talk to Peeta first,’ I whisper.
“Of course, call later tonight and I will set you up with whatever you choose.” Dr. Krane shoots me a smile. She escorts us out to the main entrance where we came in and I try and hurry out before I see my mom and explain. But of course everything today has not been going according to plan. My mom runs up to me, well not run but you know what I mean, and before she or I could say anything, Annie decides to tell her about the whole situation, “Katniss thought she was having some pregnancy symptoms so I set up an appointment for her, but it turns out she just has some, uh anxiety issues,” Annie just keeps rambling on and on and on. All my mother does is give me a hug and rubs my back. I cry silently into her shirt, honestly I don’t even know if actual tears came out of my eyes, because I have been crying so much.
After my ‘crying’ has stopped she has the nerve to ask me: therapy or medication. I respond in a broken voice, “I want to talk to Peeta first.”
“Nurse Everdeen please report to room 120. Nurse Everdeen, room 120,” an annoying voice says over the intercom.
As if my mother is ignoring her call she says, “When do you and Peeta leave?”
“We have to leave, uh, tomorrow night. We have to do a “catch-up” interview,” I say with such enthusiasm, not.
“Oh, please, Katniss. You were a natural the last time you there with Caesar. And this time you have Peeta up there with you, so you are going to do, so great, so great,” Annie says, I guess because she saw the disgusted look on my face. I give her a smile and again that annoying voice comes over the intercom, “Nurse Everdeen room 120, now, please!” My mom gives both, Annie and me a hug. With that Annie and I walk out the doors, on our way back to the beach.
The walk back is a comfortable silence, but I begin to feel like I have been rather rude to Annie. I mean, she has done so much for me and Peeta.
“Thank you, Annie,” I say with I think the first genuine smile I gave her this whole trip.
“For what?”
“For everything.”
“Oh please,” Annie laughs.
“Oh please what? You have been nothing but generous to me and Peeta, and I never said thank you.”
“Well you know, you're still Panem’s Girl on Fire, and it is an honor to be in your presence,” Annie says in the most jokingly way I have ever seen her. We both get a good laugh. We reach the beach and we hear nothing but laughter. I see Peeta throwing Flynn up in the air and spinning him around. But before we actually walk towards Flynn and Peeta I stop Annie in her tracks, “I’m nervous to tell Peeta. I mean I promised him if anything was wrong I would tell him, I don’t know if he’ll be mad or upset. I-I-” Annie cuts me off before I start to hyperventilate, “Calm down, I’m 100% sure he will understand, and after all, he is Peeta. But I wouldn’t tell him that you thought you were pregnant though, just to keep it safe.”
“But, he’s, like you said, he is Peeta.”
“Ya, but look at him with Flynn. You can tell how badly he wants to be a father. If he found out you thought you were pregnant and you weren’t…” I look up just in time to meet Peeta’s eyes.
“Mommy,” Flynn shouts and swims over to the edge of the ocean. I walk over to where our belongings are and get lost in seeing a soaking wet Flynn run over and hug Annie and she is soaking wet now, too. I start to laugh and Peeta runs up to me and picks me up and throws me over his shoulder and runs into the water with me. “Who’s laughing now,” is all I her before I go under.
