5SOS Preferences

3000 Miles

"3000 Miles"

M I K E Y

"I’m dreaming of a place called home. I could try, but I’m stuck in today."

Tears welled up in my eyes as I watched her cry. “Babe, please don’t cry,” I said, my voice weak. She smiled at me faintly and I put my head in my hands. “I’m gonna have to leave soon,” I said, and she nodded, still unable to say anything. “If I could, I’d come to you right now,” I told her, but she shook her head. “I’m so happy you’re living your dream, Mikey,” She told me. “If that were, true, you wouldn’t be crying.” “Mikey, I’m not crying because I’m not happy for you. I’m crying because I miss you holding me, and kissing me, and trying to help me play video games. I miss you reaching the highest shelf when I can’t. I’m crying because I’m so proud of you, but I can’t be there with you to support you and it kills me.” She was sobbing violently now, and I could feel the tears in my eyes start to fall. “I’ve gotta go, love. See you soon.” I said, kissing the screen. She nodded and ended the call, and I did the same. After she was gone, I put my head down in my hands and let myself cry. I wanted to be back home for the first time.

C A L

"I want you to tell me all about your day, although I never really showed it, I had to leave for me to notice."

I lay back in bed, thinking of (y/n). I dragged my hands over my face, wishing I could talk to her somehow. Unfortunately for me, we were miles away, and I didn’t know what to do. I wanted to hear her voice, hear her tell me about something completely pointless. Although she didn’t know, I loved it when she talked about what happened during the day. The way her eyes sparkled when she was happy about something, and how her mouth quirked upwards when something was funny. “C’mon, man. You have to get off of that bed.” Ashton said, poking his head in the door. I didn’t say anything, just stared at the ceiling. “Look, I know that this must be really hard for you, but-” “How would you know, Ashton? You don’t know what it’s like to miss someone so much, every time you close your eyes you see them!” “Yes, I do. I have a family, and every single day, I miss them even more, but I know I’m going to see them again. So, c’mon, mate. You have a show to play, for (y/n).”

A S H

“Dreaming of a place that’s 300 miles away, feels like it’s forever.  Seems like yesterday, we were running ‘round town together,”

“Come on, Ash!” She yelled, pulling on my hand. I laughed, but followed her nonetheless. We ran over to a carousel that younger kids were getting on and paid the worker. She hopped onto a light blue horse, while I got on the unicorn next to her. We were laughing the entire time, and she never let go of my hand until the carousel stopped.

Every time I miss her, I hold onto that memory. It seemed like just yesterday. Recently she’s all I’ve been thinking about. I know I should have said a more proper goodbye, but I couldn’t stand to see her cry. I knew there would be nothing to stop me from loosing it right there and then. I don’t answer her calls. Instead, I just listen to her voicemails, holding on tighter to a pillow every time she cries, and wanting to grab the phone and tell her that none of this is her fault. I can’t talk to her because I’m afraid that if I do, I won’t be able to stop myself from telling her everything. It seemed like the easier solution to just ignore her, but now its torture. She doesn’t know what she’s doing to me. To her, I’m just Ash, who goes out with her at 12:00 a.m. for a McDonald’s run. To her, I’m just her close friend, but to me, she’s the girl I’m in love with.

L U K E Y

“You don’t pick up but I keep redialing, ‘cause you’re asleep and your phone is on silent.”

“Come on, (y/n)! Pick up!” I shout at no one in particular. A few people backstage look at me with concern, but I don’t care. I need to talk to her. I dial her number again, pacing back and forth, on the edge of a nervous breakdown. Calum jogged over to me just then, looking me over. “You’re a mess,” he stated, and I rubbed my eyes. “Yeah, I know,” I sighed as it went to voicemail again. My thumb hovered over her contact again, wanting to call her for the hundredth time. “Don’t do it,” Calum said. “You’re torturing yourself.” “I know,” I said, my voice becoming quiet. “But I… I need to talk to her,” I whispered. “I miss her,” Calum didn’t quite know what to say as I started crying. “I need to tell her that I love her, and to stay safe, and not to forget about me. What if she forgets about me?” I wiped my eyes. “Mate, she’s not going to forget about you. She loves you with all of her heart, and you know it as well as I do.” Even though I knew it was true, I still couldn’t stop my tears. 

A/N :: Based on the song “3000 Miles” by Emblem3