LostMyHead// Matty Healy.

Is There Someone Who Can Watch You

Ava's POV:

It was nearly two in the afternoon by the time I actually woke up. It wasn't like I had any one to get out of bed and get ready for the day anymore. No reason to get up just to go see that cute smile he did when he woke up every time. Or how he would make this cute little noise when he stretched out of bed. He just wasn't there anymore. I was trying to see if maybe I could just sleep all of this away, but once I woke up it all hit me like a wave. There was no more numbness, it felt so real now. I wasn't the face he woke up to anymore and he wasn't mine. I couldn't just walk down the hall to go see my little brother. Now I don't know when I'll ever be able to see him. I've lost everything. I officially can't even say I have family to support me like most people do. I only had him left, and now he's gone. I always said if I lost him too that would be it for me. I couldn't help but start to think I was right. This is it for me. I'm slowly running out of fight in me and I don't know how much longer I could keep this up.

I was just laying on my side staring at the wall as I tried to hold back the tears that wanted to fall. The idea of being so lost without him and worried was too much to handle. I gave up the fight and just let them silently trickle down my cheeks. Of course with my luck, seconds later I heard the room door open. I had my back faced to it but I could smell the familiar cologne and heavy smell of nicotine like as if he just came back from having a cigarette. The door shut behind him as I could hear him awkwardly shuffle into the room. The weight shifted on the bed as I felt a hand gently set itself on my shoulder. I didn't turn around but instead stayed staring blankly ahead at the wall as I tried to get the quite tears to stop falling.

"Hey love... it's getting about a quarter to 3. I figured you should at least get something to eat..." Matty's raspy voice quietly mumbled as he sounded unsure as to if he should say anything at all or not. I moved to see his face and we made directed eye contact. I saw his eyes get a little wider I'm sure at the sight of how rough I looked.

"I'm not hungry." I murmured as I completely turned over to be facing him. He nervously bit his lip as he nodded slowly,

"Erm... well I guess I'll just let you get more rest or back to whatever you were doing." He whispered sounding unsure as he looked around for a minute then went to get up. When he went to get up, before I could even think I found my hand gently pulling his arm. I felt so vulnerable when I looked up at him into his big worried eyes.

"C-could you just lay with me for a minute?" I asked with my voice sounding so small and weak, nearly desperate. I had this begging look in my eyes since at the moment, all I wanted was to feel some sort of comfort from the only one I had now. He immediately got back in bed without any hesitation,

"Of course. I can stay as long as you want," He whispered as he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me into his chest.

I just laid pressed against him taking in everything I could. It was such an amazingly heartwarming thing to be in the arms of someone who is still with you in the hard times and truly is just trying to make things better. He's done everything I could ever imagine for me and he still looks for new ways each day to do more to make me happy. I wish he knew how happy he made me. It's just sometimes that can't fix all the empty holes like right now but I was so thankful for him to fill in all the thousand others.

"I love you so much." I said softly which came out muffled since my face was basically in his shirt.

"I love you too, love." He responded as I looked up at him with my big eyes. I just looked at his messy curls covering up some of his face to where all you could see were his warm eyes looking down at me and his plumped pink lips slightly parted. He noticed my admiration and softly leaned down and gave me a gentle kiss. When he pulled away, I leaned my forehead against his and felt my eyes start to get water at these thoughts that were coming to my head. The thought of what if I never met him, or what if he gets sick of me? What if he just walks out? Then who would I have?