LostMyHead// Matty Healy.

She Lays Down

Matty's POV:

Her words wouldn't stop echoing in my head. It was driving me insane, the way the words fell from her lips to the way she had to run off before she fell into millions of pieces on that balcony. It felt like I was still stuck in that moment she told me, "I could never make you feel the way you make me feel." I wanted out, I wanted to make it stop, and I wanted to make this okay. I needed to see her because I had to make things right again. This was all my fault for being so horrible to her, I have no idea how I could have treated the girl I love like that. But it was going to change, I can't keep this going. I want to change for her and for myself because I want to be a good boyfriend to her and really make her feel special like a queen not like how I have recently.

I walked into the house as I called out her name. I was hoping to get a response so I could figure out where she was but the house was quiet. I continued to walk towards our room as I called out her name. I checked the guest room on the way to our room just to see and my eyes only found a perfectly made bed and no Ava. So this meant she had to be in the bedroom. I almost felt relieved as I thought about the idea of seeing her just lying in our bed again even if she was upset at least she was going to be close by so I could begin to fix this. However, I was somewhat surprised when I saw the bed undisturbed and left just like how I had it this morning. My heart was starting to race a bit as I grew panicked at where she could be. Would she walk out on me? Where would she go then? Is she walking down the streets of a dangerous part of Manchester by herself? What if she was lost?

Thoughts were swirling my head and making my heart really start to race as I grew straight worried. I kept looking around the room until I saw the light shining onto the carpet coming from the crack at the bottom of the bathroom door. The yellow line on the carpet almost gave me hope at the same time it made me nervous. My palms grew anxiously sweaty as I walked over to the door and knocked on it. I yet again called out her name but heard no response at all. I couldn't help it, I needed to see her if she was in there. I didn't hesitate to bust open the door but the sight I saw there was never how I wanted to see her ever.

My heart fell to the very pit of my stomach as my eyes darted around the room to see everything that was laying about. On the floor by the bath was an empty orange medicine bottle with its top a few inches further followed by a blood stained razer near it. Tears were already starting to pour out of my eyes as I called out her name again just from fear. And then my eyes landed on her. Her pale beaten body was sunken under the water of the bathtub with her eyes closed and face looking almost a shade of blue. My jaw was dropped in shock and fear as it was so clear what had happened. I let out a loud sob that shook my whole body as I ran to the bath tub. My shaky and sweaty hands quickly reached to lift the drain so the water could flow out and then my arms reached under her shoulders and knees as I lifted her sickly body out of the water.

"GEORGE, GEORGE HELP!" I screamed out at the top of my lungs until my voice cracked as I set Ava's cold body on the tile floor of the bathroom. I quickly grabbed a towel to cover her bare body. I never felt so lost in my life and I could have never known to expect this, I had no idea of what to do. I choked out a loud cry as I began to try to shake her by her shoulders as I screamed out her name repeatedly. Her head would just lifelessly sway side to side as I began to roughly shake her and scream out even louder.

"AVA PLEASE!" I yelled out, my voice now sore from yelling as I saw a few tears fall from my cheeks onto her face below me. I felt so utterly heartbroken, like it had been ripped from my chest and drowned with her in that tub as I sat down next to her. I gave up on the shaking as I moved her body to rest on my lap. I wiped away my tear from her cheek as I desperately whispered her name one last time before I gave up.