Oblivion

15

As promised, the two men went shopping the next morning. There was a small indoor center, Next, Topman, H&M. They started with a Starbucks to set them up. Dan wore one of Kyle's hooded sweaters and kept his head down. Kyle had urged him to let him know if he felt uncomfortable being out in public, that they would go straight home.

'Ill be fine.' Dan assured him. They went early enough that it wasn't busy but there were still large crowds of people. Dan tried his best to avoid all eye contact, but a few people did spot him and he was sure they muttered to each other. He knew it would be hard being going out into public for the first time. He'd been used to only see a handful of people at any one time. And everything seemed so strange and different. So much bigger and louder. Even the style of clothes had changed. Nothing was familiar.

'Is this, like, fashionable?' He held up a shirt with block patterns all over it. Kyle pulled a face.

'Definitely not.' They headed to a few other shops. Dan found some new white Converse. As he slipped his feet into them, they felt amazing. They had been his trademark shoe for a reason. He just needed some jeans and he'd be back to his old normal self, whether they were in fashion or not.

'How about these?' Kyle held up a pair of black skinny jeans to him. He wasn't paying attention. He'd noticed through the window, a newspaper stand, with his face on the front cover of at least half of the papers.

'What are they saying about me?' He asked quietly, though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

'It's good stuff, don't worry. We were seen yesterday and I think they've found out that you're out of the hospital.'

'Oh.'

'Don't worry about it.'

'Do they know about..about what I did?'

'They know about the drug abuse, yeah, and that you've been living rough.'

'What about Sam?'

'No. Only you and I know about that. Come on, shall we go?' Kyle patted his shoulder. Dan stood frozen on the spot. It was all too much. He could feel the eyes of the whole world on him and he didn't like it. In just an instant he felt like all the progress he'd made had been undone. His confidence felt shattered. He wanted nothing more than to go to his room and hide away.

Kyle paid for the things Dan had already picked out and they hurriedly left. Dan remained quiet in the car ride home, just staring out of the window. Why couldn't he be left in peace? What business was it of anyones what he was doing or what he'd done. It had been a major curse during the whole time they'd been in the limelight. They couldn't go anywhere without being hounded by someone, whether it was fans or the press. And it had been a definite factor in his going underground. He'd managed to keep his problems a secret up to that point from everyone in his life and the death of Sam would've been headline news. If the press had dug deep into his life they would've found a catalogue of stories to sell their papers.

'Maybe we should've waited a few days before going out. I'm sorry.'

'It's ok.' Dan said and returned to absentmindedly staring out the window whilst rubbing the crook of his arm. Now and again the faint old track marks where he'd inserted all those dirty needles itched. They served as a constant reminder of who he was and what he would always be; an addict.