Never Fall in Love with the Fisher Boys

29- If I Knew

“You don’t have to do this,” Carter told me as I grabbed my bag.

“I know,” I sighed shakily. He handed me his car keys and I smiled at him gratefully. “But I think that I owe it to myself. I don’t know, I guess that it can’t hurt anything to hear what he has to say.”

“Okay. Just, you know, text me if you want me to come get you.”

“I’m taking your car though,” I reminded him with a light laugh. “I can drive myself back if I want to leave early.”

“I’m just worried,” He admitted sheepishly.

I stepped forward and pressed my lips to Carters. “It’ll be fine. I’ll see you when I get home.”

He kissed me back. “I love you.”

I smiled into the kiss and said it back before I left the house.

After homecoming, I’d actually listened to what Andy had to say about Randy and although I didn’t agree on their tactics to get me to meet my father, I started to agree with them that maybe it was a good idea to sit down and have dinner with him or something, which was what I was doing that night.

We’d agreed to meet at a restaurant downtown for dinner- well, Andy set it up because I was too nervous to talk to the man on the phone so Andy had to do it for me. I was nervous about meeting him in person too but I just kept telling myself that I should get some answers for myself. Most people who only grow up with one parent don’t get the opportunity to ask their absent parent any questions, they don’t ever get answers to the unanswered questions that they were left with. I should definitely take advantage of the opportunity that was so rare for others like me.

I pulled up in front of the restaurant and stepped out of Carter’s car. My sneakers padded along the pavement and then into the restaurant and I randomly wondered if I was dressed okay. I was only wearing jeans and a t-shirt under my heavy jacket that shielded me from the oncoming cold of the fall weather. I didn’t feel like I had anybody to impress, really. I wasn’t there to get him to like me, I wasn’t there so that he could see how well I did without him. I wanted answers. That was it.

I saw the tall man from the restaurant last week sitting in a small booth along the left wall but he was facing away from me so he couldn’t see me. I took one deep breath and then pushed myself forward. I wasn’t sure how this was going to go but stalling wasn’t going to get me anywhere.

“Hello,” I let him know of my presence and I was sure that he was about to stand up to greet me but I was already sliding into the booth across from him. I wasn’t sure if he expected me to want to hug him or to shake his hand or what, but I didn’t want to do any of that. I wasn’t going to hug him like we were close family. I wasn’t going to shake his hand like we were business partners.

“Madison, hi,” He cleared his throat. “I’m glad that you agreed to meet with me.”

“Actually, you can just call me Maddie. Everybody does,” I said, processing all of my words in my mind before saying them just to make sure that I didn’t sound rude or snippy. I wanted this dinner to be smooth and civil.

“Right. Maddie,” Randy corrected himself and then motioned toward the menu sitting in front of me. “They have really good steak here, I suggest the pepper corn.”

“Sure,” I said, picking up the menu to read through the choices.

“Anyway, I’d like to apologize for what happened last week. I didn’t know what those boys had planned, they just said that they wanted to have lunch and that you’d be there,” He explained but I already knew what had happened.