Never Fall in Love with the Fisher Boys

6- I'm Looking Away

The night after I went for a run with Will, I was in my room on my laptop when there was a knock on my door. It was a Saturday night so I was kind of surprised since I kind of figured that these guys were the kind of guys who went out on weekends.

When I opened the door and Will was standing there, I offered him a shy smile but I didn’t let him in my room, which is something that I’ve learned not to do because these people don’t have a problem with going through my things even if I was right there. “Hey, what’s up?” I wondered, subtly appreciating the nicely fitted t-shirt that he was wearing.

“Andy’s college buddies are throwing a party down at this field and it’s going to be kind of huge. Think you might want to go?” He wondered, leaning against the doorframe.

“A college party?” I echoed with raised eyebrows, fixing my tank top because I knew that it was a tight-fitting tank top that showed a lot of cleavage but it was really snug and comfortable so I liked to wear it around my room, where I wasn’t supposed to have any company. It’s not like I noticed Will looking or anything, I just automatically felt self-conscious about it. “Wow, that’s a bit out of my league. Thanks anyway though. Have fun.”

“Okay, suit yourself. It’s going to be really fun though and it’d be even better if you came with us,” Will told me with a somewhat pleading look.

“I appreciate that, although I’m sure that’s not true,” I chuckled. “I barely even like high school parties though, I don’t think I could handle a college one. Parties with alcohol involved are just nothing but trouble.”

“Who said anything about alcohol?” He refuted.

“I’m making a safe assumption,” I told him. “Honestly, I’m fine just staying here and reading a book or something. You go have fun though.”

“Okay, fine,” He sighed, finally resigning to letting me stay at the house instead of going to that party. When I was home with my mom and she’d have a gross boyfriend or somebody over that I didn’t like (Including Gerard and the guys that she’d cheat on Gerard with), I’d leave and go to a party because it was almost always on a weekend and almost always at night.

The high school parties near my house were pretty hardcore with different drugs and alcohol and everything but I never did any of it, I just went to the parties to get away from my house. My bedroom was right next to my mothers and the walls are thin so I wouldn’t have gotten any sleep at my house anyway. I’d dance with the boys, I’d let them kiss me even though I wasn’t so sure that I wanted them to kiss me. I guess growing up with a mother who taught me that sex was completely okay and normal, even if it was with people that you didn’t like or didn’t even know, then it just made it feel okay.

It didn’t make me feel better, to kiss boys like that, it just didn’t feel wrong either and so I never stopped them but I never let it go too far either.

Anyway, parties didn’t hold that many good memories for me so I didn’t feel like reliving that part of my life again.

I just read a book and listened to some music for a while until I turned out the lights and went to sleep.

~*~*

In the morning at breakfast, Andy and Will were incredibly grumpy and barely even awake at all. Carter was too but I wasn’t sure if that was because he was hungover like Andy and Will or if that was just how he was, grumpy all of the time. Tommy was the only older boy who didn’t seem like he’d gone 60 hours without any sleep.

“I bet you guys had a blast last night,” Tommy spoke, his voice noticeably louder than it usually was and it was obvious that he was just trying to annoy his hungover brothers.