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Islam and Striking a Women

Islam and Striking a Women

There are many Muslim men who strike their wives and excuse themselves by saying " Oh! Allah Himself allowed us to do so, He said in the Holy Quran to strike your wife if she is disobedient."

Now lets be realistic guys, i mean seriously! These men are just cowards, they MISUSE Islam and its teachings to justify their inhumane behavior.

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah
"The Prophet (saws) said: ‘Among the Muslims the most perfect, as regards his faith, is the one whose character is excellent, and the best among you are those who treat their wives well."
[Hadith - Tirmidhi 628]

Muslim men are supposed to fear Allah especially in regards to their wife, because every injustice is being recorded and Allah will give these women their just due's. And its the same for women, be the wife your husband wants you to be, because end of the day, you both have to come back to each other, dont let your ego or pride get in between your happily ever after. This happily ever after may have certain bumpy rides, but only a women can make a thing like a 'happily ever after' which sounds surreal come to life, come true.

A lot of people bring a certain verse from the Holy Quran to prove that hitting a women is permissible in Islam but they fail to understand the true meaning of this particular verse.

[Quran: An-Nisaa 34-35]
Almighty Allah says: "Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more strength than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore, the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband's absence what Allah would have them to guard. As to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance); for Allah is most High and Great (above you all). If you fear a breach between them twain, appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family and the other from hers. If they wish for peace, Allah will cause their reconciliation; for Allah has full knowledge and is acquainted with all things."

One should not take a part of the verse and use it to justify one's own misconduct. This verse neither permits violence nor condones it. It guides us to ways to handle delicate family situation with care and wisdom. The word "beating" is used in the verse, but it does not mean "physical abuse". The Prophet (p.b.u.h.) explained it "dharban ghayra mubarrih" which means "a light tap that leaves no mark". He further said that face must be avoided. Some other scholars are of the view that it is no more than a light touch by siwak, or toothbrush.

Generally, the Prophet (p.b.u.h.) used to discourage his followers from taking even this measure. He never hit any female, and he used to say that the best of men are those who do not hit their wives. In one Hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?”
(Al-Bukhari,vol. 8, Hadith 68)

The hitting that is allowed is within certain limits and is for the purpose of discipline, not for revenge or to vent one’s anger. If his wife responds and returns to obedience, he has no right to seek means of annoyance against her.

It is also important to note that even this "light strike" mentioned in the verse is NOT to be used to correct some minor problem, but it is permissible to resort to only in a situation of some SERIOUS MORAL MISCONDUCT when avoiding from sleeping with her would not help. If this disciplinary action can correct a situation and save the marriage, then one should use it.

All of this ^ is to SAVE a marraige, and NOT to create more troubles, because there are some women who realize the seriousness of a thing when their husband, after many failed attempts to make her realize, lightly strike her.

According to Quran the relationship between the husband and wife should be based on mutual love and kindness.

Allah says: "And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought." (Quran: Ar-Rum 21)

Allah Almighty says: "O you who have believed, it is not lawful for you to inherit women by compulsion. And do not make difficulties for them in order to take [back] part of what you gave them unless they commit a clear immorality. And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them - perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good." (Quran: An-Nisaa 19)

If it is the husband who is mistreating his wife, that does not mean that she should remain oppressed or that her hands are tied. She has the right – just as the husband has – to warn and advise him, and to remind him to fear Allah. If that does not work, she can seek the help of wise people among his relatives and her own, and they can advise him. If this does not work, then the matter can be taken to a qaadi (Muslim judge) who can force him to do the right thing – and Allah is above them all.

Some may ask, why cant a women strike her husband!

And a very well Islamic teacher answered that question for us,

If a father mistreats his son, does the son have the right to hit his father? Why not?

If a mother mistreats her daughter, does the daughter have the right to hit her mother? Why not?

If a teacher mistreats his student, does the student have the right to hit his teacher? Why not?

If a commander mistreats a soldier, does the soldier have the right to hit his commander? Why not?

The answer in all the above cases is: No, and the reason for this is clear. It is because the father’s position is higher than that of his son, the mother’s position is higher than that of her daughter, and the teacher’s position is higher than that of the student. Hence it is not appropriate for the people in the lower position to punish those whose position is higher. The same applies to husband and wife: the husband is in charge of his wife, and she has to obey him and not go out without his permission, otherwise the stability of the family will be destroyed. The family should have just one leader to steer its course, and that leader is the one who spends on the family and protects it.

But if the protector becomes the abuser, then a women has all rights to divorce him, if he doesnt changes his ways.

Dear Muslim brothers, your wife is a gift to you from Allah, He created her for your companionship, she is for you, so treat her well. She might not be perfect but then neither are you. Respect her and treat her well, and she will open all doors of love and companionship with you, if fear of Allah resides in her.

And dear Muslim sisters, if you want your partner to love and respect you, then listen to him and do not be proud. Dont ruin your life by doing the exact things which your husband dislikes, he is your other half, treat him like one.

Love each other for the sake of Allah.