A man goes to a sheikh and says: "Oh sheikh, I've been married for years and I have kids but in the past few years, I've noticed I'm not attracted to my wife any longer."
The sheikh starts to ask him why? Has she gained any weight?
Man: No, she looks the same.
Sheikh: Did she get into an accident, did something deform her image?
Man: No, she looks the same.
So the sheikh asks "Do you have a hard time lowering your gaze when women walk past you? Do you have issues with pornography?"
Man: Yeah, how did you know about
that?
Sheikh: "When you indulge in Haraam (unlawful), when you fall in love with the Haraam, when you eat,
sleep, and breathe in the Haraam, then the Halal (lawful) becomes disgusting to you.
Lower your gaze. Don’t fornicate. Don’t look at pornography. Don’t create a false standard of beauty. Have your spouse (future, if single) be your standard of beauty. This is one of the devastating effects of pornography: you lust after an illusion and compare your spouse to them. It makes it impossible to be satisfied in your marriage.
When Adam Alaihissalam was created he was alone. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala did not gave him a video game to play and pass his time with. Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala did not give him friends to have fun, play football and wander around in Jannah, Right? He gave him a wife. This itself is enough to show the important of a spouse in our life.
If you fall in love because someone makes you laugh, what happens when you no longer find them funny? If you fall in love because someone is beautiful, what happens when that beauty fades? If you fall in love because someone can provide for you, what happens when they lose wealth? Real love defies all reasons. When you truly love someone, you do not look for reasons, you see beyond reasons.
TRUE LOVE START WITH MARRAIGE. Remember two kinds of love will never cause you sadness, LOVE ALLAH AND LOVE FOR THE SAKE OF ALLAH.
Husbands complain that their wives dress up when leaving the home and not within the home.
Women say they hardly receive a complement at home but get all the attention outside so why bother at home.
If each one were to fulfil their duty and repeat words of love & admiration to the other, we would have less of such issues.
So dear brothers remember to,
Love her …when she sips on your coffee or tea. She only wants to make sure it tastes just right for you.
Love her…when she "pushes" you to pray. She wants to be with you in Jannah (Paradise).
Love her…when she asks you to play with the kids. She did not "make" them on her own.
Love her...when she is jealous. Out of all the men she can have, she chose you
Love her…when she has annoying little habits that drives you nuts. You have them too.
Love her…when her cooking is bad. She tries.
Love her…when she looks dishevelled in the morning. She always grooms herself up again.
Love her…when she asks to help with the kids homework. She only wants you to be part of the home.
Love her...when she asks if she looks fat. Your opinion counts, so tell her she's beautiful.
Love her…when she looks beautiful. She's yours so appreciate her.
Love her...when she spends hours to get ready. She only wants to look her best for you.
Love her…when she buys you gifts you don't like. Smile and tell her it's what you've always wanted.
Love her…when she has developed a bad habit. You have many more and with wisdom and politeness you have all the time to help her change.
Love her…when she cries for absolutely nothing. Don't ask, tell her its going to be okay
Love her…when whatever you do is not pleasing. It happens and will pass
Love her…when she stains your clothes. You needed a new one anyway
Love her…when she tells you how to drive. She only wants you to be safe.
Love her…when she argues. She only wants to make things right for both
Love her…she is yours. You don't need any other special reason!!!!
All this forms part of a Woman's Character. Women are part of your life and should be treated as the Queen.
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) advised concerning the woman:
• Treat the women well.
• The best of you are those who are the best in the treatment of their wives.
Ways of Winning Your Husband's Love:-
Dress pleasantly and attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day. (sleeping suit..lol common in India & Pak)
Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Greet him with warmth and a smile.
Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.
Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it. (Cleanliness is a Part of Your Faith)
Smell good..Yeah
Encourage him to do good deeds. (Da'wah is obligatory on ever Muslim)
Learn to make his favorite dish. (It is said that the easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach)
Pleasing Him If He Is Angry
First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:
1- If you mistaken, then apologize
2- If he mistaken then:
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Yield you were right or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.
3- If he was angry because of external reasons then:
# Keeping silent untill his anger goes
# Find execuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, some one insulted him
# Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened, e.g.
1) You should tell me what happened?
2) I must know what made you so angry.
3) You are hidding something, and I have the right to know
The successful marraige is not when you can live in peace with your wife, but when you can't live in peace without her.
May Allah preserve all of our marriages and help us understand and implement them in and with the best of manners, Ameen.
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