Hope Lost: A Daryl Dixon Story (The Walking Dead/ Bethyl )

14- Timing

“Dammit.” Beth cursed as a branch scraped her arm. She winced as she touched the broken skin and sighed. Her attempt at getting away from the camp to escape her pain had just caused more pain. Did she really fail at everything? Beth scowled as she walked on. She had awoken this morning with a set mission: to abandon the camp and get by on her own. But the further she moved on, the more she realised it wasn’t the best idea. She was quite a distance away from the camp, since she had left before dawn. It sounded perfect to her last night as she lay awake. Beth made sure she had lain as far as possible away from Tara. She would just slip away in the morning with some supplies, maybe take the car and just drive wherever the road would take her. But of course, half way through, her mind began talking her out of it. As much as it pained her to see Daryl being with another woman, it would hurt her even more to never see him again. Yes, Daryl had changed, that much was obvious. But there were times when he would relapse and yell at Ted or Tara, sometimes even Robin. He would be mean, rude and cold but it was the Daryl she knew and somehow grew fond of. Her life without Daryl would have been okay, or so she thought. But as she pictured waking up to a world where she would never get to see his face again, her stomach twisted into knots. But not the good kind, the knots you feel when you hear that someone you loved died. Beth hated that even though Daryl dismissed her like shit, she still cared about him. Beth then thought of how Daryl would react when he discovered that she was gone and not coming back. Would he be sad, upset or confused? Would he even care at all, Beth gulped as she imagined Daryl being completely emotionless about her leaving. But Beth knew Daryl better then the next person, and she knew he would find her stunt childish, impulsive and immature. And that basically summed up how her running away would seem and be. She had to become an adult and not run away from her problems and instead look them dead on in the eye. Unfortunately, her problems of late could be killed but she couldn’t necessarily go up and plunge her knife into Robin’s skull. This one would be a challenge for her: she would have to accept the fact that Daryl was not with her, and he might never want to be with her. She had to accept, because surviving out on your own is risky. There were two enemies; walkers and survivors. Beth was more than capable of dealing with walkers, but people were different. She could be minding her own business at her camp or setup, and be ambushed by another group who are after her supplies or even her. She was definitely familiar with the power and safety struggle in this world -it had destroyed her last home. She needed her group, as much as it infuriated her, numbers counted in survival. Surviving in a group against surviving on your own had much better odds. As these thoughts tumbled across in her mind, her pace gradually slowed until she stopped altogether. 

Her face fell and she stared ahead. It was already decided.

Beth could never leave. Where ever Daryl was, Beth would be. She breathed in and held back her tears. She shook her head to clear her thoughts and turned around. She would manage to find her way back to camp, though it would take a while.

And so began Beth’s decision to accept what she cannot change.

--

Daryl stared at Ted as he twitched by the campfire. He really wouldn’t mind if Ted just up and left one day. He was nothing but trouble, and Daryl had a feeling that Ted would prove him right.

He felt eyes on him and looked to his right to find Robin staring at him while chewing on her bottom lip.

“Take him today…” she trailed off.

Daryl raised an eyebrow.

“Please, Daryl. Just look at him, he needs a-”

“I am lookin’,” Daryl cut her off in a harsh tone. “Man’s more dangerous than a walker.”