Hope Lost: A Daryl Dixon Story (The Walking Dead/ Bethyl )

23- Emotions

Fear: (noun) an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

Happiness: (noun) the state of being happy.

Alone: (adjective) having no one else present; on one's own.

Freedom: (noun) the power to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

Fear. Happiness. Alone. Freedom. Let us take a look at these four words. They are four simple words with simple meanings, but four people take these words to a whole new meaning. Let's start with Robin Darcy. She's young, she's happy and she's safe. What more could an apocalypse survivor ask for? Sure she lost her brother, her old group and a good friend along the way. But she found new people...and she found someone new. However, deep down inside the pits of her being, Robin fears for her life. She has this strange feeling inside her that somethin big is going down soon. And that it will affect her. She had this feeling before the herd of walkers attacked her first group. She had this feeling just before Daryl showed up at their camp, when Adam was still alive. She had this feeling during a dark time in her pre-apocalypse life, but that time she ignored that feeling. It was a sixth sense -a very accurate sixth sense. So what did it mean now? Robin was sure she was just being paranoid. She had nothing to fear now. She was relatively safe; she hadn't seen or heard a walker since she'd arrived at the farm. So why worry about nothing? But still the feeling of fear pressed on. And Robin was under the impression that this time her fear was internal -someone close was going to hurt her. But in the present moment, Robin was humming nonchalantly as she prepared some food for Beth. She carried the slightly dirty tray to her room, opened the door, cheerfully greeted Beth and set the tray down on her lap. She curtly exited the room. Robin briefly thought that escaping the group meant that she could escape her fear. Running away one morning with a few supplies, no one would miss her right? Maybe Daryl wouldn't even bat an eyelid. Nevertheless, Robin supressed her fear and carried on with her happy act. She only supressed her fear one other time before and that nearly resulted in her death. So who is to say it won't happen this time again?

Beth sat still on the bed. The food in front of her looked disgusting. It was one big mess of beans and corn. She turned her nose away, but reached for the spoon anyway. Her ankle had slowly begun to heal -the swelling went down and the bone had almost set again. The thought of walking outside gave her a preview of happiness. Then her features sank. She wasn't the slightest bit happy. At a time during the apocalypse, she was happy and grateful. But now what did she have? A crazy sister, a man who broke her heart and a broken ankle? Sure she had Judith, but even the baby girl couldn't soothe her mind anymore. Beth longed for that happy feeling to surge through her veins once more. She wanted to wake up on a bright and sunny day and feel happy. But how? Staying at the farm would never make her happy. She was downright sure of that. But did Beth have it in her to abandon everything she's known for so long? Although, just the thought of up and leaving caused her heart to race, her veins pulsed adrenalin through her body, and boy was it a rush. Beth knew she was strong enough to survive out there on her own. The only reason the last time didn't go so well was because she was emotionally distressed. She left for the wrong reasons. But this time if she left it would be for her own benefit and no one else's. All Beth Greene wanted was happiness.

And nothing would stop her this time.

Outside, underneath the blazing sun, Maggie stood and gazed ahead. The farm was empty. There were no more animals. There were no more crops. The funny thing about it all was that Maggie could somehow relate to it -she was empty. She was alone. Her father was gone for a long time already. And so was Glenn. But she still couldn't give her husband up yet. Why should she have to? He should be here, standing next to her and holding her hand. But all that was left of him was a memory...and something else. Something unwanted. What was Maggie supposed to do with it now that Glenn was gone? She knew how her life was going to end all of a sudden. She didn't want to die that way. It seemed like a pathetic way to die in this world, of something average nonetheless. It was kind of ironic that she was now in this situation. She'd after all helped conduct the deed that killed Lori. But Maggie had a plan. She wasn't going to tell anyone about her current situation. She nearly slipped and had a breakdown in the bathroom with Beth in the next room, but she wouldn't let that happen again. She'd be more careful this time. She would plan it out, cunningly and meticulously. There would be no room for error. Maggie just wished she didn't have to go through this alone. She was miserable and lonely. It didn't seem possible since she was surrounded by people she had grown to care for on the grounds that held happy memories. She should just focus on that right? But no, she was different. She would have to leave for her plan to work. That was the only upsetting part. If she left, she would truly be alone. Maggie didn't think it would feel any different from what she was feeling now though. So Maggie shrugged and made her decision. She would leave as soon as she could, and that was the most definite thing in her life at the moment.