Hope Lost: A Daryl Dixon Story (The Walking Dead/ Bethyl )

18- Nothing left

It was quiet, quieter than it had been in a long time. It was as if no one dared to breathe. Beth sat awkwardly in the backseat with her bad leg propped up on Maggie’s lap. Maggie occasionally stroked her good leg up and down. Daryl drove up front with the passenger seat stacked with their stuff. Packed right on the top was Carl’s sheriff hat. Beth’s back began to pain and she stiffly tried to adjust her position. Maggie turned her head to watch her sister move about and then at Daryl. He stared straight ahead, never once making a sound. He seemed to remember where the farm was. Tara, Robin and the unconscious Ted were driving behind them. Beth decided she’d had enough of the silence and she spoke up, “I missed ya,” she directed at Maggie.

Maggie smiled impishly and squeezed her sister’s good calf. That was the end of the conversation. Daryl spied the turn off to the farm not too far from where they were. He wondered who all was left from the prison folk. He didn’t ask. His mind drifted to Rick. He didn’t think anyone of much importance was at the farm. Daryl barely remembered most of the people’s names at the prison. The turn came closer and closer into sight. He sighed. At this moment, Daryl wanted nothing more than to be alone. He craved the feeling of freedom from a group. He swore to himself, if Beth hadn’t stumbled upon him while the prison was falling apart, he would have taken some supplies and left for good. Being in a group had so many hassles to it. He couldn’t just think for himself. Daryl was slowly beginning to despise it. Then there was Robin. She was a gorgeous, kind human being. She didn’t deserve to be living in a world like this. Daryl was sure her forgiving nature would literally kill her one of these days. He felt an urge to be her guardian. He wanted her to be safe, but she had a tendency to open her arms to those broke, like himself and Ted. Daryl was broken. That much he knew. Daryl was certain that most people still left in the world were broken, but at least they let it all out. Daryl wasn’t even sure he had any real emotion inside of him. Glenn was dead. Glenn was a friend. Yet Daryl only managed less than a day of grief before sinking into his natural state.

“Who’s all here?” Beth asked, interrupting Daryl’s thoughts.

“Sasha, Bob… Michonne and…” Maggie said softly.

Beth cocked her head to the side, inching Maggie to go on. But Beth heard her cries before Maggie confirmed her residency. Daryl had pulled up next to a tree where the shadowy figure of Michonne could be seen. In her arms was the crying baby Judith. Beth’s jaw dropped a little and she wanted to sprint over. Daryl climbed out the car and slammed his door. He nodded at Michonne who nodded back at him. Judith looked fat and healthy, and Daryl couldn’t help but smile. His smile dropped when he saw Maggie drag herself out the car. Maggie looked like death. Her hair was messy and her face was pale. Sasha was sitting on the porch steps with a rifle slung over her shoulder. Her and Bob had spotted the car, got up and sprinted over to the car.

“Help me get Beth to a bed.” Maggie said in a cold voice to no one in particular.

Sasha’s eyes brightened. Beth and Daryl, she thought. The other car pulled up behind the Hyundai. Tara and Robin awkwardly scrambled out the car. Sasha and Bob smiled in greeting. Michonne said nothing as she rocked up and down to soothe Judith.

“No,” Beth’s voice was heard from inside the car. “Give Judy to me first.”

Michonne obliged and handed the baby to Beth. Judith came to a hush and stared into Beth’s eyes. A cute, goofy smile appeared on the child’s face, and Beth felt happy for a change.

--

Beth lay in her old bedroom. She never thought she’d see this place again. The room was relatively dusty and had a smell to it, but she didn’t mind. She sat up on the bed, propped up by cushions, with Judith napping on her chest. Beth’s bad leg was resting on a cushion. Robin had cleaned the wound again earlier and splinted it. Her ankle was now numb, but Beth was too content for the moment to bother about her wellbeing. Judith moaned a little and adjusted her position.  Beth rubbed circles on her back, feeling content with her ‘child’. She could never describe the happiness she felt upon hearing her cry. For the time being, she was happy. For the time being, she ignored Daryl and Robin. For the time being, Judy and she would be safe again.

There was a light knock on the half closed door.

“Yeah?” Beth whispered, as not to wake Judith.

Maggie entered and quietly shut the door behind her. She sat the foot of the bed.

“How ya doin’?” Maggie asked as she gently squeezed Beth’s foot. 

Beth shrugged, but smiled. She felt that was a sufficient enough answer. Maggie, on the other hand, wasn’t listening for a reply. Yes, she loved her sister and Beth and her ankle was the main concern right now, but no one seemed to give two shits about Glenn. After a short few minutes of Beth hugging Judith, Robin suggested she be moved inside to a more comfortable place. Maggie told Daryl to assist Beth to her old room, and she immediately saw the reluctance in his stone cold face. This brought a frown from Maggie –Daryl and Beth seemed close during their time in the prison, what had happened in the last month or so? Upon Daryl returning after carrying Beth, he approached her about the touchy subject –where shall they bury Glenn?  Maggie’s face fell and she glared at the boot containing her husband’s body.

“Excuse me?” Sasha’s loud voice was heard. “What about Glenn?” 

Maggie didn’t feel like anyone’s pity so she didn’t answer Daryl and went to Beth’s room. Now, she sat wondering why Beth wasn’t asking about Glenn or Rick, Carl or anyone else from the prison for the matter. In fact Maggie felt that her sister was being selfish. They never had time to speak about their father’s death yet and Maggie began to think they never would. Beth seemed to be caught up in her own unimportant problems. Some part of Maggie wanted to find out about what happened between Beth and Daryl, but she decided such petty nonsense was beneath her. So instead she said, “Glenn’s dead.”

Beth stopped smiling and gripped Judith a bit tighter. “At the prison or?”

“Ted killed him.” Maggie’s answer was so dry and blunt that Beth thought she was being sarcastic.

“How?” Beth asked, uncertain.

And so Maggie explained what she walked in on at the bar. When she had finished, Beth couldn’t help but conclude that this was Robin’s fault. She didn’t say that though, instead she watched her sister carefully. Beth was waiting for Maggie to have some sort of meltdown, but nothing came. Judith exhaled loudly, and Beth rubbed her back again.

“I’m real sorry Maggie.” That was all Beth could think of saying.

With those words, Maggie stood up and promptly left the room. She shut the door behind her and leaned against it, closing her eyes and holding her breath. Up till now, she had received no real comfort from anyone. Before she had Glenn, it was them against the world. Now she had nothing and no one. Her father, who would have been the wisest and most comforting father right now, the person that she needed the most was also gone. And so was Beth. Beth had changed in these past few weeks, Maggie was sure of it. She was a caring, hopeful and sincere girl. Now Maggie wasn’t sure there were words out there to describe her. She was almost a reflection of Daryl’s cold image.

“Ya alright there?” Maggie heard the rough voice.

She opened her eyes to find Daryl leaning against the wall at the beginning of the hallway with his arms crossed. When Maggie didn’t respond, he asked something else, “Is Beth alright?”

“Go find out yourself.” Maggie said bluntly and left. She brushed past Daryl without making eye contact.

Daryl was still unsure if he could bury Glenn yet, so he just left him in the boot. Michonne wanted to know what had happened to Glenn. After being told, she eyed Robin with evil eyes. She asked if Ted was still alive and her jaw set when she was told the answer. Daryl would love nothing more than to wake up to hearing the news of Ted’s Death by Katana, but said nothing to Michonne.

He stood up straight and walked down the passage and stood in front of Beth’s closed door. He raised his fist to knock, but paused. He thought back to Beth lying underneath him, half-naked and looking up at him with adorned eyes. Daryl swiftly turned on his heel and left.

Beth was something else, but not his something else.

She was another kind of beautiful, but not his kind of beautiful. His kind of beautiful stood alone outside, surrounded by strangers who already hated her. He made his way back to Robin, but with a blonde girl with blue eyes at the back of his mind. 

Dedicated to one of my best fans, check out her book please (": love you all x