Fractured Fundamentals

In time.

I woke up the next morning to Collin sleeping on my stomach cuddling me like a teddy bear. It was cute but SO uncomfortable. I tried to slip away as gently as I could but dropped my phone on the floor. He moved a bit but he didn't wake up. Thankfully. I managed to get out of bed and hopped in the shower washed off yesterdays juices and-- ew juices-- anyway I finished showering and went down stairs. I decided to stay in today because I was feeling a little stuffy. I sat on the couch watching a series of unfourtuneate events on Netflix. This show is actually pretty funny next to all those warnings in the beginning telling me to look away.. I somehow found myself on the 3rd episode before Collin came down stairs and hugged my neck from behind. "Morning molasses." I say greeting him. "Morning girly girl." "Girly girl? Since when did you call me that?" I asked shocked. "Since I saw all those heels in your closet." He said poking me on the cheek. "Why were you in my closet weird al?" I asked kissing his hand. "They say you can tell alot about a person by their sense of fashion and you my lady have clothes in there that I have never seen you in" he said kissing my forehead. "Meh meh meh meh" I mocked him. He went to the kitchen raiding the fridge. "Oh yeah Mark went grocery shopping an hour ago so if you want something we can go to Starbucks or something." I say getting up. "Or I can go to Starbucks and you can finish your show. What do you want?" He said throwing on his shirt. "Babe are you sure?" "Yeah no problem. Now what would you like my lady?" He said grabbing my keys. "Just an regular hot brew my sir. I'm feeling stuffy today." "Okay so a hot brew and a allergy pill from the cabinet? Will that be all?" He asked going back to the kitchen bringing my allergy pill and a water bottle. "Yep. Thanks Collin." I said taking the pill. "No problem. I'll be back in 10." He left and I pressed play on my show. Wow these kids have it bad at that house. I would never clean a toilet with my toothbrush and be forced to brush my teeth with it! As I watched I got sleepy and drifted into a short nap. Collin woke me up unlocking the door. Thankfully I wasnt all the way out. "I come bearing gifts!" Collin said with a theatrical voice. "my savior has arrived. Thank you!" I yelled. We went to the table and enjoyed our coffee and muffins. I finished eating and ran upstairs. I was looking for my shoes. When I found my slides I went back downstairs and drug Collin to my backyard. "Woah. I didn't know you had a backyard." He exclaimed. "Terri didn't either until last week." I informed him. I never bring anyone back here. We went out the door and I guided him to the shed. When we got in I closed the door behind us. "Woah this is a nice shed. I took off my sweater and Collin looked nervous. "Woah woah woah speedy what are you doing we can't do this In a shed." He said backing up. I simply laughed and walked past him to put my sweater over the small window. I then pulled out my mini star shower flash light and set it up in the middle of the floor and grabbed a blanket that was in the corner. I spread it out and lied down. "Come on. Don't be shy." I assured him. He lied down next to me. I turned on the star shower and watched his face carefully for a reaction. And I swear I seen the most funniest grin on his face that I have never seen before. "What the hell. This is awesome! It's like thousands of stars and their so close." He said looking up admiring the sight before him. "It's great huh? I usually come out here at night when I wanna see the real stars. But sometimes I have troubled thoughts during the daytime too. And theres no real stars to tell my problems to when the sun is out." "So you made your own stars." He said figuring it out. "Yeah I brought Terri out here when she was hesitant about seeing Benson. I let her tell the stars all her problems and troubled thoughts and none of them complained. None of them judged her. None of them forced her to make a decision. They calmed her down and helped her distract herself." "And you want the Same for me?" He asked looking at me. "Yeah. I could tell you had alot on your mind so I thought you might wanna give it a go." I said holding his hand. "Okay. Um.." "I could go if you want." I assured him. "No! Stay." I stayed with him. "Um. So I just pick a star and go for it?" "Yeah pick a star, any star and if you finish with that star and you have another problem, go to the next one." "Okay. Well here goes...i really love this girl alot but I feel like she's not giving me her all." When he said that I for some reason didn't react though I know he was talking about me. "I feel like she's hiding something from me and she's leaving out an important detail about her and I desperately wanna know what it is she's hiding so we can both let something go." When he said that I got up and walked out. "River." "No it's okay I just-- want you to know that I have been hiding something from you and I think you have the right to know. But now isnt the best time. I will tell you in time. "Riv I'm sorry." "No I know you mean well I just don't wanna interfere with your conversation this is private. Let it all out and don't come out until you have. I love you Collin. In time I will tell you." I smiled and walked out of the shed. For some reason what he said didn't phase me. I just went back in and played my show as if nothing happend. I can't tell him now. Now isn't the time to tell him. He will know in time. When I'm ready.