Why Do We Fall

Chapter 13

Derek's POV

A week later

I lied to Lexa, I remember loving her it hurt me to say that I don't love her but, she looks happy without me being by her side. I truly miss her but then again I've got Octavia and I'm happy with her. Every night I wonder what I should do with my life.

Should I throw it all away? Should I kill myself? Maybe... I'm not sure but, I know I'm depressed nobody sees it because I've never looked depressed or anything in camp yet. Maybe-

"Come back to bed" Octavia softy spoke as she hauled me to our bed. The beds are a lot better now, well possibly because Octavia is always next to me.
 
"Come here" I whisper closely to Octavia's ear, I feel Octavia get goose bumps and she pushes herself closer to me.

"That felt good, the way your breath touched my neck, do it again" Octavia moaned.

I start to kiss her neck, Octavia is starting to moan once again, the pleasure she has of me doing this must be a lot. I bite her ear lobe, after that I start to suck on her neck, I then lift her from her side onto her back to face me.

I place her thighs around my waist, I lean in to kiss Octavia and as we kiss I stretched out our arms. As I stretched out our arms I held hands with her, I then take my shirt off and we rush to take off our clothing. 

After we undressed I started to kiss Octavia again but this time more passionately, Octavia stopped shortly to look for her speakers made by Raven and the MP3 player we got. Octavia played this old song by Beyoncé and it sounds like the song called "Haunted"

After she put on a song we continue where we left off,  I place my tongue on her lower stomach and I start to lick up until I got close to her breast. When I reach her breasts I lick both of her nipples, she moans as I continued.

15 minutes later...

I thrusted and Octavia moaned, this time I thrusted harder, Octavia moaned but her voice cracked as I thrusted. I continued till she climaxed, I climaxed 5 minutes after her.

I'm lying down next to Octavia who is sleeping, I know I love Lexa still but I'm not myself anymore. I can't be fake anymore I need to leave for a while. After I think this I wrote a note and leave it next to Octavia, I finish packing my stuff and I give Octavia one last kiss before I leave.

I go to Lexa's tent, when I enter I don't see Clarke anywhere in the tent just Lexa sleeping. I wake Lexa up and she stares up at me as if she had waited for this moment. "Hey, let's go home" I say before I help lift the pregnant female off of the bed.

"Okay" she replies happily, Im sad that I'm leaving this small place but I love Lexa and I know she loves me still. I can kind of tell she can well- "I still love you Derek"

Those words were the most beautiful thing I have heard, it make me feel joyous. I help Lexa get her clothes, we're set to leave I look behind us as we walk in the direction of Arkadia.

Arrived at Arkadia

When we arrived at Arkadia, I went to go look for the car I had built myself a while back. I go to the garage and I see it the Angel Of Death, I start it up and it's fully charged. I put our bags in the back of the car I help Lexa into my car and when I finish helping her we set off back to Polis.

Good thing we left the jeep there for them, but I know and I Lexa are doing this disappearing act but this'll be better. For us.

2 months later...

"Sorry lex the babies are up again" I say after I stop kissing Lexa. Lexa just looks at me with a grin, she's happy and I am too, I haven't heard from the camp I made for the people of Arkadia.

I get up and I walk toward my daughters room, I pick up Sarah and Alex I go to sit down in this rocking chair because this is literally one of the ways I can put them both to sleep. They can't sleep so I guess I'll bring them to mine and Lexa's room.

As I walk toward our room the babies start to cry again, I open the door and I find Lexa, Lexa is sleeping peacefully and the twins has calmed down when they came into our room. I go to lay down in bed with the twins and Lexa and I turn back on to Lexa.

I wrap my arms around my babies and fall to sleep. I wake up to Lexa out of bed and the babies out of my arms I get anxious when I don't see them in my arms. I look around and I see Lexa come out of the bathroom with the twins in her arms, I just smile and get up.

"I'm glad you get up with them at night" Lexa speaks to me before she pecks me on the lips.

"Yeah well it's not like you'll wake up" I joke.

Lexa just laughs, her laugh is beautiful I love it when she laughs. I look at my hands I forget that I don't got a ring finger on my hand. I laugh when I remember when I was nearly beaten to death.

"I was thinking we should be bounded" Lexa said to me as I take the twins.

"Is that like marriage?" I question with the babies in arms.

"Well yes, I mean you don't have to say yes" Lexa nervously speaks.

"Haha as if I'd reject you, Lexa I love you, and I love our kids" I speak truthfully, I used to think what if I'm not good enough now I know I am.

"Then let's get bounded" Lexa smiles. "But let your people bound us" Lexa adds on.

"Lexa I'm fine with whatever as long as I'm with you I'm fine" I speak softly but yet reassuring.