Poet boy knows his flaws -
self-awareness is a cruel thing
It comes with claws
That your mind says are the culprits
That ruin every situation that thaws
Your icy soul.
*
Self-awareness
Is blaming that same insecurity
For everything you've made a mess.
It's when she treats you like secondhand quality
And you say it's because eye contact for you is like chess...
You can't focus, and you're always the weaker side
Turning your eyes away and making your confidence less.
*
Self-awareness is watching friends leave
And as you start to grieve
Blaming yourself seems justified
By the flaws that never die,
They swarm your sleepless mind
Because you're the overthinking kind.
You're friend's departure
Births an aperture
In your soul -
So you'll never feel whole...
But more flaws will start to breed there
That you can't keep a friend for a year
That when you let friends whisper in your ear
You form a bond and start to care:
You'll start to fear
Letting people near.
*
Self-awareness is disliking compliments
That your mind says are musical instruments
Which are made mute
When they lack truth.
Because you know yourself
You've peeked at the book on your shelf,
You know that they perceive you falsely
So you say to them coarsely
That you're an Iago:
You're something they won't know.
Two faces
Fast thinking paces
Only you know your mind's places
And your mind's nighttime cases.
*
Self-awareness is seeing a portrait
That tends you to portray hate -
Self-hate
Is all your mind wants to create:
No its not self-hate
But that's what they tell you
When everything you say is true...
Just that you perceive more flaws
Than strengths that abide to no laws
Because you will struggle to examine explain
How these writings haven't made me insane.
But still you'll see a portrait
That predetermines your fate
Because each flaw has a hold -
A tight grip that shapes your life's mold.
*
Self-awareness is rather melancholic
When your strength morphs into a weakness
And you have one less reason to love yourself
And have more reason to fear the shelf
That houses books
That house the different yous.
You go there sometimes
During self-pity nighttime swimming times
To compare past yous to the current you.
Your physiology becomes painted blue
Because the younger you
Wasn't close to the dark fiend -
He was a happier kid
Not knowing Self-awareness.
You let out a sigh
As his hands come by
And he reminds you he's only there for your good -
As though he sincerely doesn't notice your sad mood.
He'll put on your head a teal hood
To adjust your spoilt attitude
So you show appreciation
To the mental creation.
Because he's good at manipulation
When you attempt dissociation
He'll give colour to your minute strengths
So rainbow light fill your eyes with dents
And your vision will tend to neglect
All that he labels as a defect.
*
Self-awareness
Is seeing more than your reflection
In the mirror's depiction
Is seeing the loch ness
In your eye's lens
Because the real you is mythical
Your accomplishments - equivocal.
*
Your fate
Darkened by your bad traits
Will delineate
An emotionless attachment to walking through death's gate:
Self-awareness is seeing yourself at old age
And actually fearing living out that page.
