Creator: Tteokie
Words: 7090
Site: AO3
Btw: Ok, guys. I really like this one. No idea why, but I really like it. Also, this chapter is dedicated to @hobi_shines because they requested more bottom Hoseok. Anyway, hope you enjoy! :)
Description:
Hoseok still doesn't know how he became Taehyung's sex life teacher. Crack and porn ahead.
Story:
Hoseok looked at Taehyung, sipping on his bubble tea. Taehyung had been fawning over 'Namjoon-the-barista' for months now, and had reached a point where he would simply stare at him with wide eyes and a poker face, before taking his drink and leaving to sit on a table. Hoseok always rolled his eyes and apologised for his friend who had been raised in a cave. Namjoon always answered that it was okay and Taehyung always missed the half smile Namjoon gave him.
Hoseok was convinced Namjoon wouldn't mind it if Kim Taehyung asked him on a date. Maybe he should ask him directly.
"How do you do it, hyung?"
Hoseok raised an eyebrow, still thoroughly amused. "How do I do what?"
"How do you manage to talk to him!"
Hoseok stuck his tongue out and wriggled it with a dirty smile. "I use this."
"I'm not joking." Taehyung deadpanned.
Hoseok groaned. As Taehyung's designated best friend (a title he shared with human-size mochi Park Jimin), he had to go through each existential crisis with him, which he didn't particularly mind, to be honest. But Taehyung had quite a broad definition of what existential crisis could mean.
Pining over Kim Namjoon apparently belonged to this category.
"I wanna be sexy, and seductive, and--"
Hoseok put his hand on Taehyung's arm. "Stop please. Thinking about you and sexy in the same sentence is giving weirding me out]."
"You're the worst best friend ever."
Hoseok snorted and patted Taehyung's head. "You're way less terrible than you think. You are fucking attractive, Tae, I can't believe I'm the one telling you that."
"I want him to think I'm attractive."
"It's a universal law. Fire burns, water soaks everything, and you're good-looking."
Taehyung turned his head to look at Namjoon taking an order, focused on writing something on a plastic cup with a sharpie. "Water doesn't soak everything. Some things are waterproof."
Hoseok rolled his eyes as he slurped on his last tapioca bubbles. "'Namjoon-the-barista' is not waterproof."
It had all started when Hoseok had been supposed to hand back Namjoon his math notes.
Hoseok and Namjoon had met during their second year at university, bonding over the bitchiness of their math teacher. From thereon, Namjoon had often helped Hoseok with... well, mostly everything (he was impressive when it came to academics).
Hoseok had gotten him this part time at the bubble tea shop in return. And even if he was apparently a disaster on two legs, he had managed to make the plastic lid machine work properly after three weeks without making any of the cups melt anymore.
One day, Hoseok had texted Namjoon that he would come by the bubble tea shop to give him back his math notes. Taehyung tagged along because they were supposed to go to the arcade after that.
Spoiler alert, they did not go to the arcade after that. They spent more than an hour sitting at the farthest table from the counter and Hoseok was kept busy all this time answering Taehyung's questions about Namjoon.
