secret soulmates // phan

twelve.

Dan
I wake up by the sunlight shining through the curtains of my window. I look at the time.

9 AM.
9 AM?!

Do you know that sinking feeling you get when you realize you sent a nude to the wrong friend, or you forgot to give your granddad his heart medicine?
Yeah, that's about how I felt when I saw the time, before I realized it was Saturday. Phew.

I lay back down again, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. After a few minutes, I decide to look on my phone again.

Look, I'm not addicted. I just got this phone for my birthday and I'm really excited to discover the endless possibilities. That makes sense, right?

I click on YouTube again and watch the remaining videos of AmazingPhil that I hadn't watched already. Unfortunately, he doesn't have that many videos yet, but I will be notified when he uploads another one.

I go over to Twitter and type in Amazingphil. I click on his account.
The profile picture is him wearing a shirt with a lion on it. He's slightly smiling, not showing his teeth. His blue eyes are lighted up by the light coming from the window he's standing in front of. I can tell, since he showed that there was a window right there in a video.

I smile to myself. I have no idea why, but this Phil guy makes me feel something I rarely feel. Maybe not true happiness, but at least joy.

I click on the follow button and scroll through his Tweets. Most of which are funny stories about his own life, or lovely responds to his fans. I decide to Tweet him as well.

"@AmazingPhil hello! i just wanted to tell you i really enjoy watching your videos."

It's a bit lame, though I still send it. You never know.

I put my phone on my bedside table again, slowly getting up from my bed and taking a quick look at myself in the mirror. Still disgusting.

I go downstairs, to find my mom drinking coffee and reading the newspaper at the table.

"Good morning Daniel! Have you had a good night sleep?" she asks.

"Yeah, decent." I respond.

"Good. There's cereal in the cupboard, we have a bit of milk left in the fridge. It's not much, though."

"No problem." I say, as I walk towards the kitchen and pour some cereal and milk in my bowl. It's indeed not much, but I barely eat anyways.

I sit down at the table next to my mom, observing her face whilst taking a few spoonfuls of cereal.
She looks tired. Her big, round glasses are balanced on the tip of her nose, so she can actually read. I've noticed she has been getting more wrinkles recently. She's really getting older, but she's still such a strong woman.

"I love you, mom." I suddenly blurt out.

She looks up from her newspaper, surprised.

"I love you more, Dan. Come here." She says as she opens her arms to give me a hug. She never calls me Dan.
I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her neck, breathing in her familiar sent. She hugs me tightly.

Suddenly, I start to cry. Things like this make me weak. I try to hold it in as much as possible, because I don't want to look vulnerable.

"What's wrong, Daniel? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." I sniff.

She doesn't ask further, though I know she doesn't believe me. Instead, she just hugs me more tightly.