Prayers To Obey (Finding Love, Series Book 4)

Broken Beyond Repair (Chapter 45)

MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT...

'I lay on the floor in tears sobbing over the media after another article hits about Riker and I, "Leah, we need to talk." I sit up at the sight of Riker, "I think we need to break up." I stare at him, shocked before pulling my knees up to my chest and crying harder.

"You started this Leah- this is all because of you. You and you're jealous heart- so you know what, Savannah and I are going to get hitched, while you lay here crying your eyes out." I heard him stand but I didn't bother to look up, "Oh and I'll need my ring back- Savannah wants it." I looked up at him as he smirked down at me and I yank it off handing it to him- he gladly takes it and walks out, leaving me here on the floor in tears...'

"RIKER." I gasped jolting up in bed, immediately I throw on a quick change of clothes as I find myself running out of the apartment.

"Leah? What's wrong?" Riker answered the door, I immediately crashed into his arms, sobbing, as the dreams flashed through my mind, causing me to cry harder than before.

(Riker's P.O.V.)

I held onto Leah as she cried in my arms, something was wrong, but I didn't know what it was- I looked up at the others tears filling my eyes then I looked down as she cried out, "Shh... baby, shh. It's okay Princess." I gently scooped her up carrying her bridal style to the couch, I sat down, letting her cry in my arms.

Eventually, her sobs calmed and Rydel brought her a glass of water, "Thank you."

"Princess, what happened?" She put the glass down staring at me.

"I had another nightmare." She choked before sobbing again and I looked at the others as I held her close to me again tears filling my own eyes.

HOURS LATER...

I paced back and fourth watching her sleep peacefully on the couch, I couldn't believe she'd had another nightmare last night- but I knew why. I bit the inside of my cheek as I stopped pacing, how could I have let this all happen? I shook my head and continued to pace, hopeful she'd wake up soon. Someone knocked on the door and I rushed to get it, "Liam- hey." I let her brother through as he immediately saw Leah.

"Thanks for calling. I didn't want to ring the doorbell and wake her. Has she had anymore?"

"Not that I know of but I haven't left her side since she came in the door last night."

"Wow. Thanks man."

"It's Leah... you and I both know I'd do anything for her."

"I'm just really worried about her." He looked over at her, sound asleep as I shoved my hands in my pockets, sighing, "I take it you heard."

"Yeah. Leah called me last night and we talked about it for hours. I wouldn't be surprised if she read about it before falling asleep last night."

"You mean as in crying herself to sleep over the comments and articles again?"

"Yeah I'm afraid so. Riker, she is so broken. Last night, was awful. She cried telling me the story. She doesn't deserve to have to go through this."

"You're right, but I don't know what else to do. Okay? We're trying to figure out how to get them to shut it down. None of this is fair, Leah shouldn't have to deal with this, she never asked for any of it." I motioned to her before rubbing my face.

"Yeah actually, she did."

I frowned at him, "What are you talking about?"

"You. She asked for you. She chose you. She knew what that meant when she decided to make you apart of her life again and she accepted it because she loves you."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, don't get that's why she rolls her eyes when you ask her if she's been reading comments again?"

"I thought it was just because she was annoyed I had asked again."

"Well that too." We both laughed before he continued, "But no, it's because she doesn't want to make a big fuss out of it- because since she told you about the nightmares she hasn't felt as awful about reading the articles because that doesn't matter to her anymore. Only you do, she's crazy about you."

"And I'm just as crazy about her. But now..."

"But now that this has happened that's why it's all coming back, and it's not going to be pretty. She's already broken, now she might just be, broken beyond repair."

"No- I won't accept that."

"Then you better fix it. Look, let's not talk about this anymore until later after she wakes up."

I nodded agreeing as he headed into the kitchen and I sighed looking down at her, I crouched down in front of her moving some hair out of the way I asked, "How can you be broken beyond repair?" I set my jaw holding back the tears and I leaned over kissing her on the head, I wouldn't accept this, I just couldn't.

Suddenly she gasped jolting up, "NO! MAKE IT STOP!" She cried, and I immediately got up and pulled her into my arms as I sat on the couch.

Liam entered the room as she looked up and went to her as I let her go and she crashed into his arms, "Oh May." He gulped back the tears as we all watched, maybe Liam was right, maybe she was broken beyond repair.

"It hurts so bad." She sobbed, as Liam looked at me- he was right, and I had to fix it. This was my fault, all of it. My eyes trailed over to where Rocky stood and I realized he was coming up from the basement, he hadn't said a word since Leah had arrived- I knew he blamed himself, but he had no right to. He didn't let me say anything as he headed into the kitchen but I followed quickly, "Rocky I-"

"Don't. Okay. I messed up, that's why she's in there crying right now. Because of me." He leaned against the counter, jaw set as he stared out to the backyard.

"Do you honestly believe that? Because it's not true." He didn't respond and instead he looked down trying to hold it together, "Rocky, she doesn't blame you for that and neither do I. So quit being so hard on yourself, this is not your fault, okay? We just shouldn't have discussed it in public, we know that now. But promise me you'll stop blaming yourself because we're never going to make it through this wedding if you don't."

"She seriously doesn't blame me?" He looked towards me holding back the tears, "Not at all man." I shook my head as I place a hand on his back and he turned to hug me.