Misery Loves Company

Track 11: The Perks of Being A Wallflower

Misery Loves Company

By: theinkslingerr

Track 11: The Perks of Being A Wallflower

What good is confidence?

And you just don't get it, you keep it copacetic

And you learn to accept it, you know it's so pathetic

And you don't

And you don't

And you don't-

I swiped off the alarm so "Bound for the Floor" by Local H could stop taunting me, and flopped back in bed to gaze at the glow in the dark stars stuck to my ceiling. Last night I'd decided to skip school, but forgot to turn off the reoccurring alarm set on my phone. Now, breathing hard and coated in sweat, I was grateful the alarm had cut my nightmare short.

The nightmares started the day after Josh stuck my head in that puddle. For years I'd wake up suffocating, thrashing wildly, limbs tangled in the sheets. The first time it happened my heart was beating so fast I thought I was having some sort of adolescent heart attack! I'd crept into my Mom's room and nudged her awake only to have her crack an eye and tell me I was fine before going back to her snoring. 

It had been a while since my last Josh-related nightmare, so silly me thought I'd moved past it all.

The funny thing about someone trying to drown you and avoiding punishment by moving across the country was the fear and the bitterness didn't go with them. Not that Miss Reese had believed Josh needed to be "punished." She'd made up her mind to believe that he had simply pushed me in the puddle, and the disturbing recollection of him holding my head under fell on deaf ears. Even with Enid as my witness!

Josh got off with a slap on the wrist, and Miss Reese turned out to be a typical adult: urging kids to tell the truth, but never believing them when they did.

I rolled onto my side, staring blankly at the posters that adorned the wall. I was eternally grateful to Enid for basically saving my life, but a small part of me, squirming and eight-legged, spun a web in an abandoned corner of my mind. That dark, creeping thing sometimes wished Enid hadn't come; sometimes wondered what would've happened if she'd been late...

Because six years ago, if Josh Henderson could grab a fistful of my hair and try to drown me in a puddle, then maybe...he deserved to live with it. Deserved to have it follow him around his entire life.

Groaning, I shook my head in an attempt to dislodge the spider and its web.

Seeing Josh for the first time in years was really messing with my head. It was Friday, so that meant if I skipped I wouldn't have to see him for three whole days!

I frowned. It also meant I'd have three whole days to fret over what he'd do to me come Monday.

I let out a strangled scream and rolled around my bed, kicking. I was like a fish on dry land without the luxury of having the hook in her mouth removed. If I knew anything about Josh, it was that he'd make me suffer. The hook would stay there until I suffocated or bled out.

I glanced over at my phone before snatching it off the nightstand. Music- I needed music! I needed frenzied guitar riffs, loud drums, and rasping vocals to distract my unraveling mind. I found my headphones tangled somewhere under my blankets and plugged them in. Since Local H was temporarily ruined, I clicked on a streaming music app to see what else was out there.

Blue Vendetta greeted me on the home page under "Recommended Artists."

I closed my eyes.

Why couldn't I escape them?