Misery Loves Company

Track 14: Episode I (Attack of the Trolls)

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*Lovely cover by DoceMary

Misery Loves Company

By: theinkslingerr

Track 14: Episode I (Attack of the Trolls)

Two million views?!

I blinked rapidly at the computer screen, unable to keep my jaw from hitting the keyboard.

Two million views was a lot of freaking views.

Two million views was something even Ernesto had failed to acquire.

Sometime last year one of Enid's videos hit a million views because she'd stuck two balled up socks down her pants and dropped her voice a couple octaves.

This happened because frenemy and fellow Youtuber, ContourCammie bet Enid that if they were reincarnated as guys she'd be way hotter.

The internet went wild, with both Enid and Cammie's fans arguing over who was prettier, had the better videos, and could rock facial hair.

It was a bizarre cold war that came to a head when Enid and Cammie surprised their fans by teaming up and filming a video where they used special effects make-up and...er...props to transform into men. Enid named her male alter-ego Ernesto, and the video blew up, getting both girls new subscribers, and Enid her first million views.

Since then, three things remained semi-consistent: Enid's videos hitting a million views, appearances from Ernesto, and private messages from lesbians and gay guys interested in dating Enid.

I'd already thought that a million people watching you online meant you'd made it big, so I got comfortable with that number. I got used to it, and it pretty much stayed the same, so I never dreamed of more. But apparently Enid had, and this was just the beginning.

I shook my head, not knowing whether to be scared or impressed by Enid's business savvy and determination.

"Here we go..." I whispered to myself before hitting play on the video that would probably change my life forever.

I was expecting "cringe-worthy," but even that turned out to be an understatement.

The fact that I was uncomfortable was obvious in the quiet way I spoke, generally avoided the cameras, and slouched in my seat. I looked so afraid, people probably thought my family was tied up off-screen with a gun pointed at them.

I guess if I weren't me, the web show would've been pretty funny- even the awkward bits. For example, you could totally see my eyes widen when Jae was about to say "We're here to have some fun with Misery," and Rocco's mild irritation when he interrupted him. Every action seemed raw on film, exposed.

The truly horrible part was when Enid asked what my parents were high on when they decided to name me "Misery." I hit rewind just to see it again, because I couldn't believe my eyes! They were supposed to edit that out! I could still picture Enid's rueful expression when she told me.

So much for that.

In the scene right after, my eyes were visibly red, and I was sure the viewers wouldn't have a hard time guessing why.

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch, trying to squash the panic blooming inside of me. I couldn't get used to myself onscreen! And if I could see the pores, and the dark circles under my eyes then that meant the viewers could too! I continued to pick myself apart, cringing all the way through my little speech about make-up versus no make-up, and how women should be able to do whatever they wanted. Did I really sound that preachy? People had to be rolling their eyes.