Different | k.sj

☁제1장☁

제1장:

Everything happened back in 2002. Well, everything that happened to my life.

My mother's name is Seo Jimin, and my father's name is Seo Changjo. My two parents named me Seo Iyagi once they had given birth to me when they were 25 and 30. 

By the time my dad had his 38th birthday and had gone overseas for a long business trip for 2 weeks, my mom couldn't handle me. 

She would drink to the occurrence her loved one was away from her, leaving her with too much to care for. My mom loved my dad more than me. 

If I wasn't helpful around the house, she would flick me. Flicking went from slight slaps on the skin. From minor kicks and palm of her hand to my cheek, to her beating me if I made a reaction to her hitting me. All in 2 weeks of my dad being away. 

Her alcoholic obsession made her hits harder than she thought. All-in-all, she still hurt me.

I still loved my mom, after all, I was only a child. Even after pleading her to stop, repeatedly screaming that I loved her, she wouldn't care. She would just complain about how useless I was. 

Whenever my dad went on business trips, she would take all loneliness and anger out on me, hurting me in blind spots so no one would see the bruises. During Elementary school---half of the year in 3rd grade. 

Until we were at the last semester, my mom smacked my arm for taking too long to get out of the car. She never trusted school buses, so she drove me there. It wasn't for my safety, it was just so no bus driver noticed. 

"Eomma, please.." The memories of my shaking voice echoed in the car as she pinched my inner forearm. 

I had been struggling to unbuckle my seat belt. She put me in the front seat so she had easy access to me. She was sadistic and schizophrenic I'd assume. I always watched her late at night in front of the TV, popping a small yellow pill with a heart engraved into it, onto her tongue.

She pinched me harder that minute, pressuring me to get out. The feeling of her acrylic nails digging into my weak skin. She spat at me to get out of the car, pushing at me frail back to leave.

It was about a year and a half since she had last said 'I love you'. I wished and cried every night for her to say those words at least one more time.

 I missed the old mom I had. A year and a half since she last showed affection for me, and 6 months since she started hurting me.

"For fuck's sake, get out and move!" I nodded at her words and stumbled out of the car. Just as I closed the door, she sped away out of the lot.

I thought no one knew. I was wrong. My mind lied to me when someone caught me crying in the library that day.

"Are you okay?" I assured them I was and told them to go away, they didn't budge, "What's wrong? You can tell me."

I cursed the kid to go away, that I needed some alone time. They insisted they would stay until I was okay. It was one of the older kids, not much older than me but older. One of the kids I used to see leaving the Gym as my class waited for our time.

"I don't know your name, but I saw what happened to you this morning." My heart stopped as I looked into their eyes with shock. 

"Don't tell anyone please!" I pleaded. He sucked in his lips and fixed his glasses, trying to think.

"I won't..... What class are you from?" 

"Mrs. Choi's." I muttered.

"Oh... Aren't you Seo family?" I nodded, pulling my short hair behind my air in thought.

"Well it was nice meeting you.. I have to go. Bye-bye." He waved and walked off until he disappeared from my vision.

It was a mistake to talk to him. To tell him my name. I hate that boy for what he did.

That night my mom was arrested. My dad was on another business trip so he was forced to be called back. He cursed me for not telling him then only welcomed me into a hug. I hate that boy. As much as my mom hurt me, that boy ruined my family. 

The next few years were full of visits to court, jail visits, and dad crying. I never cried after that, I forgot how to. I felt like I couldn't  cry anymore. It was like all my tears ran out. 

After dad officially divorced mom, and claimed full custody of me, we moved. We moved to big Seoul, away from the city of Gwacheon. 

All the business trips dad went on paid off, since he only had to take care of one other human, we had enough money for wanted and needed things together. Since he was a wealthy business man with a young daughter. Life's easy without mom. I won't ever forget her though. I feel stuck in my emotions. Confused.

Let's aboard this trash ride.