Being Different

Monster

Its been 2 days since i fought the king. Since I've become a monster. I found out that i have powers and i don't even know how to control them. How can i fight if i don't even know how to control it? I heard a knock at my door but i didn't open it. I didn't want to see anyone right now. I did hear Jake's voice through the door. "Liz are you okay? Please come out. I know you're scared but i want to see your face." he sounded really worried about me. I snuggled into the covers even more to hide myself. I heard my door opening and guessed that it was Jake. I didn't lock my door so it makes sense. "Liz. Come on, show me that smile i fell in love with." he said while walking over to the bed. I hid myself more so he wouldn't see my tear stained face. He pulled the covers off of me as he sat on the bed and revealed my face. He gasped as he saw me. "Liz...have you been crying?" he asked. I slowly nodded and he brought me into a hug. I started crying into his shoulder. "Im sorry. Jake, why do you still hang around me? Aren't you scared? Alex already left me and I've accepted it. Why can't you? Why aren't you afraid that i'll hurt you with my powers?!" i shouted in pain. Why isn't he afraid? I would if my friend was a monster. "No im not scared. I said you're not a monster and i would never leave you. I love you. Can't you see that i don't care about your power. It doesn't matter because you are still you." he said as he looked into my eyes sternly. I widened my eyes and looked down. "What about how i almost killed the king huh? What about that? Is that not something to be mad about?!" i said as my voice got louder at the end. He just kissed me after i said that. I didn't kiss back because i felt bad. 'He shouldn't be with me. Does he still care about me? Why? Why?!' i thought as he pulled away from the kiss. He seemed sad and got up to leave the room. I kept my head down as he slowly closed the door. When he did i broke down crying. Shouting about how i don't deserve to live. How im a monster. I opened my eyes and found out that im in that white room again. I looked around for my mom because this is the room where i saw her last. I couldn't find her. I was alone.  I saw in the distance someone walking towards me so i squinted my eyes to see who it was. As they got closer it was easier to make out who it was. It was Alex. "Alex?" i asked very confused as to why he was here. "Hey Liz, long time no see. How have you been?" he asked putting his hands in his pockets. I shook my head. "I feel terrible. Why did you leave me? Did i scare you with my powers?" i asked. He shook his head. "No not exactly. I just needed some time away. Don't worry, I'll come back. You have Jake until then." he smiled and ruffled my hair. I looked down, letting my hair cover my eyes. "I sort of locked myself away from the world. I am just waiting till the king takes me again so i can accept my fate." i say very serious. He was shocked but not so much. "I kinda figured you would lock yourself away from everyone but accepting your own death? I can't imagine you doing that." he said. "But there's no other choice. I can't accept my own powers so why should i continue hurting the people i care about. I can't even control them." i confessed. He chuckled.  "You really don't get it do you? The reason why you can't control your powers is because you think you're alone. You think there is no one to save or help you. Well you're wrong. You know who wants to help you the most? Jake. Go talk to him. Let him inside your world. Once you learn to control your feelings about everything, then you can control your powers." he explained. I made this a mental note because it might be useful. I said my goodbyes and i left the white room. I was back in my real room. I got up and opened the door to find Jake still standing there. I brought him into a hug and told him that I'm ready to allow him into my world. He hugged me back and said, "Thanks for believing in yourself and me." This will be the last time i let myself slip away from reality. I will overcome this and defeat the king, once and for all.