Fat Chance

This is not the End, but just merely the Beginning

For the first five minutes upon us meeting up, Me and Wyatt just sat in silence, not looking nor talking to each other.

He wouldn't look at me, and I totally understood why. How could he? 

Eventually, we started small talk about how our time in San Francisco had gone, what we had done, etc. 

I asked him about the friends who had come with him, and he told me that they had been on the same arriving flight as him, but they had all flown back home on an earlier flight this afternoon.

He asked me where I was actually from, and I told him the truth (for the very first time.) 

We sat in silence for a few more minutes before he turned to me. 

"Listen, I just want to tell you that I'm not mad at you, and I forgive you for lying to me and hurting me. Honestly, I came out here to see you mainly because I knew that you weren't exactly who you said you were. I didn't think to this level though, I thought you really did live in California. And when I found out you didn't, and that you had come all this way just to apologize, own up to your lies and give me closure, I decided that I couldn't be TOO mad at you.'

I gave him a weak smile. "Thank you for accepting my apology. That means a lot to me."

Wyatt smiled back. "And there's something else I think I need to tell you."

He looked me in the eyes. 

"Alecia-"

I stopped him. "No, my name isn't Alecia. I forgot to tell you, but my name is Quinn."

Wyatt paused. "Oh. Well then, QUINN, even though you aren't who I thought you were, I still really really like you. Fuck, I should just say it. I still love you. I know you lied to me and I don't know why I still feel this way, neither do my friends, but....I just wanted you to know...I still want this to work. I still want to be with you."

For the second time in my life, I was completely speechless. A million thoughts ran through my head. 'He's trying to fuck you over!' a voice in my head screamed. 'He's gonna make you think he still cares about you, and when you start to feel the same way, he's gonna hurt and leave you.'

'No!' another voice screamed. 'He means it! He's a good guy, too good for you! You should just let him down gently and leave him alone for good. No need for you to hurt him even more.'

Several voices in my head gave their two cents, making my vision blur and split into two. 

"Quinn?" Wyatt asked. He looked worried, concerned. I must have looked overwhelmed or something. 

In that moment, I decided I was going to stop lying and running away from my problems. No matter how much it would hurt him, Wyatt deserved the truth. He deserved to be able to have closure and move on and find someone who actually loved him and cared about him the way he deserved to be loved and cared about. He deserved more then having someone who has lied to him and hurt him pretend to like him out of pity or fear that he would be hurt more. I know that if the situation were reversed, I wouldn't want him to pretend to like me out of pity. 

I'd want honesty. 

And that's what I was going to give him. 

I turned to him.

"Wyatt, I'm gay."

I shifted my gaze away from him so I wouldn't have to see the look on his face when it all registered. 

I heard him say, "But then...Why did you do this? If it wasn't to find a boyfriend? Why did you...do what you did with me and probably many other guys..?