Fat Chance

Dear Diary

January 27th, 2015

Dear Diary, (I say sarcastically)
I hate the fact that I have to write in here EVERY FUCKING DAY (yeah that's right, I'm swearing) but I really don't feel like retaking 9th grade English as a sophmore, so I'll just have to deal with it.
Today was a shitty ass fucking day. Ms. Mortiello (my pottery teacher) is still gone and I hate it. The subs they put in her place are horrible. They just sit back and let us work by ourselves, which is always a shit show.

And get this: because Ms. Mortiello has been gone so often and was the glue holding this class together, all of us have become unmotivated to do much of anything, me included.

My sculpture remains unsculpted. I've used class time to check Alecia's (I'm not even gonna explain shit to you, diary. You don't deserve to know) Facebook so that I could keep up with the massive amounts of friend requests and random spam posts on hsr timeline.
Me and Wyatt are back to talking a shit ton. Alecia has the biggest crush on him. So much, in fact, that she's stopped flirting a lot with other guys. Which is a huge deal, considering I literally CREATED Alecia to be the flirtacious sex queen that she used to be.
And yep. That's really all I have for you, stupid diary. See you tomorow (in hell, hopefully)
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I shoved my journal into my backpack and gave a sigh of relief. I hadn't written that much with a pencil on paper since 6th grade. Yesterday, pretty much the whole class begged Ms. Coleowski to let us type our journal entries, but she refused. "Nothing can replicate the look and feel of writing on paper, and I'm not going to be the one to further encourage this generation that all that computer bull crap can."

So it looks like I'll have achy hands for the rest of the school year.

My iPod lit up with a kik message from Wyatt. My heart both leapt and dropped down into stomach. On one hand, I loved talking to Wyatt; it was fun and he made me feel like less of a freak, even though knew it wasn't me feeling the way I did for him. It was Alecia.

But on the other hand, I hated seeing how much I had him fooled. How much he trusted every lie I told him. How much he thought he knew about me.

What pained me the most was how much he trusted me. He would tell him how bad his depression was sometimes, about his history with cutting and suicide attempts, and how his past girlfriend broke his heart. He would pour his soul out to me, and I would tell him more lies about "myself" to make him feel not alone. The closest I ever came to telling him anything super personal about me was saying that I had attempted suicide before, which was true. He pushed and pushed me for details, but I knew that I had already dragged too much of Quinn's personal life into our conversation.

I picked up my iPod and opened Wyatt's message.

"Hey baby, how was your day today?"

I blushed. He called me baby!

Holy fuck he called me baby.

I locked my iPod and threw it on my bed. What the actual hell? Does this mean he likes me now?

I took a few calming breaths and decided I was brave enough to message him back.

"Hey :) it was okay, kind of stressful tho. Wby?"

Wyatt read my message instantly, which was surprising since he usually took a few minutes to read and respond to my messages.

And then he started to type.

"It was pretty okay. Wanna talk on the phone?"

My breath caught in my lungs. This wasn't good. This means he's suspicious and needs some kind of confirmation. Or something. Because why else would he want to call me?

OR MAYBE

HE'S BRINGING OUR STORY TO CATFISH AND WANTS NEV TO TALK TO ME

but wait, doesn't that usually happen the otherway around? Like, doesn't Nev call the catfish first.

Maybe me calling him is how he's gonna get my number for Nev to call.

Even though this is all extravagantly unlikely, I was still legitimately worried about why Wyatt woulf all of a sudden want to hear my voice.

I message back.

"Um, I dont have a phone, remember?"

Along with the story of Alecia not having a proper phone or device with a camera on it, she also lives in a group home, which is her excuse as to why she can't afford a phone.

Again, Wyatt see's this message immediately.

This can't be good.

"Can't you just install a calling app on your iPod or something? I really wanna hear your voice :)"

I sigh

"Um...okay, I guess. But I can't call you tonight. It'll have to be tomorrow afternoon or something"

Thankfully, Wyatt didn't see or respond to my message right away this time, which kind of abolishes my idea that Nev and Max might be there with him, watching over his shoulder.

He finally responded 3 minutes later.

"Okay sounds good :)"

And then he gives me his phone number, which, again, completely demolishes my Catfish the TV show theory.

"Great" I reply back. "I gtg tho. Gn"

I power off my iPod and throw it across the room, not even carring when It hits the wall with a SMACK.

I flopped down face first on my air mattress and burried my face into my pillow.

"What the hell am I gonna do?" I thought

Well, I know what I'm gonna start with.

And then I screamed into my pillow until I was hoarse.