Fat Chance

Teachers Cry Too

The next few days were absolute shit, mainly because of Ms. Mortiellos absence. 

The substitute that took her place is named Mr. Hare and he sucks ass. He just sat there and let us work on our own; didn't try to help us, didn't try to talk to us. In fact, I never heard him utter a word for the entire 4 days he was our sub. 

At last, today was the day Ms. Mortiello came back to school. 

I woke up this morning determined not to let anything ruin this day for me. And it didn't.

I avoided drama between my family and on the bus, and I was a good girl in all of my classes. Stella and I made sure not to get caught by Mr. Crazy in US. History. I didn't skip math.

Finally (FINALLY!) it's the last hour of the day and I get to see my favorite teacher in the world in my favorite class in the world. If I'm being completely honest, I haven't made very much progress on my love sculpture, mostly because without Ms. M, I had no motivation. 

I walked into class and almost died of happiness when I saw her sitting behind her desk. The next thing I noticed, though, was how tired she looked. She was almost always happy and energetic, but that was no longer the case. 'Her brother must not be doing too good', I thought. 

Suddenly, I felt guilty and selfish, not only because I had only thought about how miserable I was without her, but, I also felt bad for expecting her to be all sunshine and smiles when her brother had almost died. 

I walked over to the long table and set my backpack on the table. The clock showed that we had five minutes until class started. I looked over at Ms. Mortiello, unusually unsocial, and decided I should go tell her how much we all missed her. 

I took a deep breath and walked over to her desk. As I approached, Ms. M's head didn't rise up to great me. Even after 30 seconds of standing directly in front of her, she still didn't move to acknowledge me. I cleared my throat. "Ms. M?" My voice sounded wobbly and was barely louder then a whisper, but somehow she heard me anyways. 

Ms. Mortiello lifted her head up and looked at me. "Quinn," she said, her tired eyes instantly brightening. "What can I do for you?" I looked into her face and observed how run down she looked. Now I had no idea how old she actually was, but rumor was that Ms. M was only 23. And on a normal day I could totally believe that, but today was not one of those days. Her hair was thrown up in a messy bun and she had no makeup on, her under eye bags and acne scars clearly visible. Yet she was still beautiful.

I cleared my throat. "Actually, I just came up to check on how things are going with you. We were all worried about you, especially me." Ms. Mortiello smiled tiredly. "That means a lot to me, Quinn." She lowered her voice. "I know I'm supposed to be on a brave face and say everything went just fine and that he's recovering nicely, but, if I'm being honest, I feel like shit. I've barely gotten any sleep within the past few days, my brother is in a coma that the doctors don't think he'll come out of, and the only person he has is me. The only person I have is him. All we have is each other. I don't know what I'm going to do if he doesn't wake up...I'm not sure I'll be able to handle it." Her voice wobbled and I could tell she was doing everything in her power to not burst out in tears.

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding and looked down at the ground. I didn't want to make things worse by looking at her when she was so obviously losing her grip on her emotions. When I looked back up, Ms. M was staring at me.

"I...I'm sorry, Quinn. I don't know where that came from...."

I shook my head. "Don't worry about it. That's why I asked. I didn't want you to lie to me, obviously. I'm sorry things are so hard for you right now." For the first time ever, I felt awkward talking to Ms. Mortiello. I honestly didn't know what I could say or do to make her feel better, but I still felt like I needed to try. After all, if it weren't for her and her class, I would be even more miserable then I already am at school. I felt like I owed her something.

The one  minute warning bell rang and five more students poured into the classroom to take their seats. I turned to Ms. M, who was reaching for a tissue. "This might sound weird coming from a student, but if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm always here." I smiled at her and went back to my table to sit down.

I could barely focus on what Ms. Mortiello was saying because I was so excited to get started working on my project. What I was the most excited for was Ms. M to see it. It was one of my most creative ideas so far and I really wanted her approval.

Just as we were about to start the designs, a knock on the door came. Breanna, the girl who sat nearest to the entrance, got up and answered the door.

On the other side of the door was an office aid, who promptly pushed past Breanna and headed right towards Ms. M. 

The two of them whispered to each other for a moment and then Ms. M looked up towards the class. 

"Students, it seems as though I'm needed with my family right now. Class is dismissed for the day." 

Ms. Mortiello walked briskly out of the classroom, leaving all of us wide mouthed and disappointed.