Finding Solace In You.

Chapter 40

Ghazal looked up from the book which she was reading to Adam as Haaris came in the room with hurried strides, his posture furiously shaking and he began to pace around the room with ragged breaths.

"Ma, what happened to dad?"

Adam's worried and somewhat fearful voice made her realize how grave the situation was. By the time, Haaris had tiredly sat at one corner of their bedroom balcony. From the glass door, she could easily see him blowing puffs of air in the bowl of his hands, clearly showing his disheveled state. Ghazal gave a fake smile to Adam in order to move his mind away from the fear and pressed his small hands.

"Nothing, baby. He's just stressed. You wait here."

Ghazal placed a kiss on his temple as Adam nodded with a smile and she made her way towards Haaris who was still engrossed in his cluttered thoughts. She wrapped an arm around his slumped shoulders, moving his damp fringes away from his glossy eyes and on the cue, Haaris rested his head on her shoulder as if he was waiting for her support.

"It all will be alright. I'm here."

"Tigeress, I am breaking apart."

She shushed him kissing his temple to soothe Haaris. Ghazal didn't know what had happened downstairs but whatever it was, it was enough to shatter his being. Maybe the reason that Papa had told him was fierce which had affected him badly or was there something different?

"Why you never left me?"

That query was sudden as Haaris bored his questioning, wet eyes on her face. What was the answer? What she would tell him? The idea of leaving him never came to her mind because they got married, they were husband and wife because their relationship was destined to be beyond the afterlife or was there something more to say?

"Why will I leave you, Haaris?"

"Because that's what Azkiya did. She left me when I was dying when I was fighting for my life with death."

Her eyes widened at the revelation and a huge weight fell on her heart. How could one be so heartless? Did the human inside her die? Didn't she feel the pain of leaving a dying man? That man who was spoiling himself just in the guilt that he took her life. That guilt was proof how true his feelings were for Azkiya. But she didn't even care for those feelings too.

"I'm not Azkiya, Haaris. I had told you that we will be together and In Shaa Allah we will."

"Don't you think I can handle this reason? Why Papa had to lie to me?"

Haaris's mind was jumping on every worst possible situation. He was thinking about the bad part of his life, which was very acute for his health especially his mind. She could now understand Papa's reason behind the lie. He had proved how much he loved his son and what he had gone through taking this decision.

"Haaris he knows the pain of betrayal. His reason was valid, he just wanted to save you from that pain."

"By giving me more pain? Ghazal, I only prayed of dying just because of those haunting memories, those nightmares. I-I..."

Haaris stuttered as he was unable to form words enough to show his pain, Ghazal again shushed him cupping his face and taking him in her embrace. Everything was futile to make Haaris understand because he was not in his right mind, he was living in his past and going through every dark memory of his mind.

"Do you want some water?"

Haaris nodded and Ghazal called Adam to bring the glass of water. Adam's face was still worried as he took a look at his father's upset face giving him the glass. He had never seen him like this and definitely he was not liking his great dad being so weak. She gestured Adam to come near her and made him sit on her lap.