Masquerade (G!P)

•eight•

I sat in Lauren's elegant and massive dining room, taking in the sights of her mansion. The chandelier hung low, and swung occasionally, which creeped me out. There were pictures and paintings covering the walls, and there was a framed collage of Lauren in the center of the room. At the back of it, the walls were completely made of glass. I took in the starlit view, looking at the moon as it lit up the water in the center of the courtyard. I sipped my champagne, turning back around to look at Lauren. She smiled at me.

"So," She murmured. "Tell me about yourself. I know nothing about you."

"Well," I took a deep breath. "My life has been pretty bad up until college."

"Bad?" Lauren cocked her head to the side. "How so?"

"I ran away from my home when I was fourteen," I whispered. "I was raised by my best friend Choie's family."

"Why'd you run away?" Lauren pressed.

"It was unstable," I explained. "My dad would come home late at night, drunk as if his life depended on it. He was abusive to my mom and I, but my mom was too in love with him to leave."

"So you left instead," Lauren nodded her head, leaning back into her chair.

"Camila, Ally and I all met in high school," I continued. "We were exactly how Dinah described. Literally a triple threat."

"So you were a bitchy fuckgirl?" Lauren chuckled.

"Yup," I exclaimed. "Guilty as charged."

"Why did Ally warn Zendaya?" What is with Lauren and all these questions?

"I made a lot of people's lives a living hell," I avoided her eyes. It's not something I'm proud of.

"Oh," She let out. "How so?"

"Regina George style," I joked. "Minus getting hit by a bus."

"Literally everyone fell at my feet for my attention, good or bad," I sighed. "Boys, girls, teachers!" Lauren raised an eyebrow.

"Teachers?" She cocked her head. "You slept with teachers too?"

"Only one," I looked down at my feet. "But he was a substitute anyway." Lauren laughed.

"Why are you laughing?" I whined. "It's not something I'm proud of. Probably the worst one night stand that I can remember."

"You little hoe," Lauren cackled.

"That's like your favorite word when you describe me," I rolled my eyes.

"Am I lying?" Lauren questioned. "How many boyfriends did you have?"

"Four," I confessed. "Jake Miller, Zayn Malik, Arin Ray, and Justin Bieber."

"Damn," Lauren hissed. "What races were they?"

"Jake was white," I recalled. "Arin was black, Justin was white, and I'm not sure about Zayn."

"Not sure?" Lauren gasped. "What do you mean?"

"Well," I reminisced. "There was some troll account in high school saying that Zayn was Mexican or something." Lauren let out a loud laugh.

"Why though?" She whispered. "Why sleep with all of them?"

"I dunno," I mumbled bluntly. "There was a void - one that I couldn't fill. I literally lost all respect for myself when I went into high school."

"All anyone wanted me for was because I had a body," I went on. "Hell, even grown ass men checked me out too. How is a sixteen year old girl supposed to feel when she catches some forty year old man staring at her ass when she's walking down the hallway?" Lauren stayed silent.

"So," I confessed. "Even if I had to resort to empty sex and life-ruining the only thought that ran through my mind was 'you're going to make it out of this hellhole soon'." I relaxed into my chair, feeling a weight be lifted off of my shoulders. I locked eyes with Lauren, who stood up and walked over to me. She engulfed me in a hug, wrapping her arms around me. I nuzzled my head into her shoulder, feeling tears start to fall.

"Baby," Lauren murmured. "I want you to know that I don't want you for just your body. I want you for your smile, your heart, your humor, your fierceness - your everything. You are my everything." I sobbed into her shoulder, wrapping myself tightly around her. She rubbed my back, trying to calm me down.

"Thank you Lauren," I mumbled into her shoulder. She pressed her lips - her very dry lips - to my forehead.

"Anything for you baby," She rocked me real slowly. I cried, feeling like a child again.

Memories came back to me. I remembered crying in the backyard, trying to get away from my father. I remember searching for Choie's house in the middle of the night. I remember crying myself to sleep at night when I found out how I lost and who took my virginity. I remember going straight to Ally when I thought I was pregnant, crying every time. I remember promising myself never to cry again, to keep it all locked up. I don't even remember the last time I cried - probably when I was a senior in high school.

I didn't cry when I saw Masi get shot, I just ran away. I honestly don't even know if he's even alive to this day. I didn't cry when I found out that my grandma died. I don't even remember going to her funeral. Why would I? She didn't want me when I first went to her. Said that I was the least of her problems. I didn't cry when I caught Trevor and Jilly fucking in my bed. I just told them to get out. When Jilly came to me and told me she found out that she was pregnant I told her to leave. I guess that makes me sound pretty heartless, but I promised myself not to cry.

The tears eventually stopped, but Lauren still held me for a good while.

"When was the last time you cried?" She asked gently.

"January of my senior year in high school," I admitted. "I've taught myself to keep my emotions hidden."

"Tell me why baby,"

And so I told her. I told her absolutely everything that had happened in my life up until now. The good, the bad, and the fucked up.

I no longer feel like Atlas holding up the sky.