Tears In The Rain [ interracial BWWM ]

Chapter 30

                                                                Waiting in love & pain 

** Landon P.O.V.**

Sitting in the chair watching Sasha sleep and praying to God for our son. I’m back to reality when the door opens revealing our families. The doctors had asked them to wait in the waiting room longer and Sasha cried herself to sleep.

“Landon, what did Sasha have?” Devin asked with wide eyes and a loud voice that woke Sasha. I walked over to her and held her hand looking in her deep brown eyes. “We had a boy” Sasha said with a smile as tears begin to form in her eyes.  “How is he son?” My dad asked with fear and concern in his voice. “They took him so we don’t anything right now.” I said feeling a whole in my heart. “L.J. is just fine. He may be down for a little bit but he will be fine.” I heard Sasha say.   I was about to speck when the door opened and I saw the doctors. Sasha and I looked at each other and at that I saw the fear and hurt in her eyes and she saw it in mine. I gently took her hand as they walked closer to us.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          

“Sasha, Landon your son was born very early. Sasha, you took very good care of yourself while you were pregnant but y’all baby only weighs 3Lbs and will need to stay here in the hospital for a while. In a little while we will send someone to get you so you can meet your son.” “Thank you.” We both said together. The doctor walked out the room. “Devin stay here with Sasha I want to talk with Landon.” My father said. “Are you alright? Before I go talk with my dad?” “Yes, I am sure. I have Devin and Ivy here. I will be fine.” I looked at her and smiled then walked out with my dad. 

“Dad is something wrong?” “Son, why would you think that. Today is one of the greatest days in my life.  You made me a grandpa. Although, I am far too young to be having one.” “Dad.” I looked deep in his eyes. “Dad, I’m scared, happy, hurt, just a lot of things and I don’t know what to do or how to stop and just feel.” “It’s called being a parent. I remember when your mom had you boy was I scared out my socks. Then I knew I had to protect you, teach you right from wrong. I had to be your parent and your friend, I had to grow up more myself to teach you how to be a man in ways I wasn’t. That is what being a parent is. I will tell you it is a different world when comes to girls. With girls, you must be firm with them, yet gentle. You have guide them while allowing them to make a few mistakes but stepping in before it gets too far gone. You must do things you might not want to do.” Before he continued I interrupted. “You mean like you when you and Devin had tea party’s?” I said laughing. “Laugh now son but because of those little things I did I do not have to worry about the man your sister brings home. I taught her what kind of man is great for her without telling her. When I took her out on dates I showed her what to expect from a man. Now, when she was in high school that girl pushed my last damn nerve but I allowed her to make those mistakes yes, she was heartbroken for a little bit but look at her now. Sometimes you have to allow your kids to feel pain so they can feel love. Do you understand.” “Yeah, dad I do. I want that. I want it with Sasha. Kids married our own house just us. But I know she hates me.

“Landon, you need to talk with her get everything out in the open tell her how you feel. She may not come around right off, but giving the circumstances can you blame her?” “No I can’t but I know she is the only one I can’t even begin to imagine myself being with anyone else. I know I don’t want no more dealings with Erica God she was the worse.” “See what I mean. I didn’t like her I never did, but I had to let you figure things out on your own. I got to tell you Sasha, I love her she is amazing, smart, strong, and independent. She just had your first child, my first grandchild she suffered through her crazy family and now it’s up to us to protect them.  I already see her as my daughter not daughter in -law, just my daughter.” “I know what I have to do.” “Good let’s go back and check on them.” 

** Sasha**

Soon as Landon and his dad came through the door the doctors was behind him telling us we could go see LJ. I watch Landon closely and his eyes and his eyes show so much fear, sadness but it’s all over showed by love.

He held my hand while the nurse pushed me down the hall. When I saw him I couldn’t help but cry. My precious baby boy.  Wires and tubes all around him while he laid in the incubator still.

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