Claire

Sedatives Don't Heal Hearts

Claire's POV

I woke up a while later to sunlight and a hospital ward. Stein's ward. I shook my head as I sat up. Death the Kid was standing at the window, his back turned to me. I stretched, popping my neck in the process. Apparently, the popping was audible, because Death turned around with a look of pure horror. "Did you just break something in your neck!" Death cried as he stepped forward. I shook my head, giggling. "No, of--" I glared at him, clearing my throat. "I'm fine...?" I would not soften up on him just because he carried me down to Stein's. Death raised a brow.

The door opened, and Soul and Kai stepped inside. "She's alive!" I glared and threw the blankets off of me, stepping onto the floor. I stood up, immediately getting light headed and grabbing hold of the nearest solid object.

Which just so happened to be Death's arm.

"You okay, Claire? Here, let me help--" I shook my head, releasing Death's arm and denying his help. "I don't need anyone's help! I can handle this. Thank you!" Death looked hurt and backed up, and I quickly made my way to the bathroom. I splashed water on my face until I felt awake, then dried up. I left the bathroom, and found Stein grabbing his clip board. "Good morning, Ms. Monroe. How are you?" I shrugged. "Fine. When can I get out of here?" Stein shrugged. "If you feel alright, you can leave now. Although I'd advise staying out of school today. Come back if you start feeling sick or abnormally exhausted." I shrugged. "Sure thing. Thanks, Stein."

I left, Death, Soul, and Kai following behind me. "I believe a thanks is in order, Claire." I heard Death spit. I rolled my eyes. "I did thank you. I thanked all of you." Soul scoffed. "What kind of thank you was that?" I growled, turning around and getting in Soul's face. He yelped in surprise. "It was a thank you, Soul. Accept it or not, I don't care!" Without waiting for a reply, I stalked off, pulling my jacket on.

Seeing home was all too nice. I hadn't had time to break down and just let go at all. I opened the door and jogged up the stairs, collapsing into my bed. The first thing that crossed my mind was Soul and our break up, then Kai and how it suddenly felt like he was more Soul and Death's friend more than mine. And now Zero was making friends. Technically, I didn't have anyone. Not anymore.

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Death's POV

I watched Claire for days after she left Stein's ward. After he second day back, she started always wearing a hood, no matter how warm or sunny it was outside.

She ignored every attempt Kai made at talking to her. Even Soul. It was like she couldn't hear them, couldn't see them. She would just walk right past them, her head always down. Even Zero couldn't tell what all was wrong with her. All she knew was that her sister would just go home and go straight to her room. Eventually, Zero couldn't take it anymore, so she stayed out of the house.

After a week of Claire's silence, I decided I'd go over and talk some damn sense into her.

School had ended, and I waited until an hour after to go to her house. I didn't bother to knock, just walked right in. I shut the door quietly behind me, and was immediately enclosed in Chaotica's "Unstable". This already didn't sound good.

I jogged up the stairs and into what I hoped was Claire's room, and gasped at what I saw.

Claire was sitting on the edge of the bed, bringing a bottle of alcohol to her lips occasionally. The insides of her arms were covered in dark red scars, a few of which were fresh and bleeding now. "Fuck off, Death." She said calmly and clearly. "Wh-What...! What're you doing, Claire! Stop it!" She shook her head. "Make me, Reaper." I didn't hesitate to cross the room and snatch the bottle out of her hand. She chuckled and lay down on her bed, laying her arms out above her head. She was skinny; too skinny for her age. I could all too clearly see her collar bone. "When was the last time you ate?" She glared at me. "When was the last time you cared?"

I sighed. "Do you remember when you said you were there for me? Always? Yeah, well I was right wasn't I? I screwed up, and you didn't care about me anymore." She say up. "Hell, nobody cares anymore." I shook my head. "That's not true, Claire. You're drunk, and you can't see the truth; you're lying to yourself." She stood up. "Oh no. My head tells me the truth; it doesn't lie." I watched her as she wiped the dripping blood from her arms and whipped it on the floor.

"First," She started, fixing her hair soberly in the mirror, "it was Soul. I mean, I broke up with him, practically told him to screw off. But then, it was Kai." She shook her head. "I never expected that from him. But he got a hold of you two, and he obviously doesn't wanna let go now!" She shrugged. "You can have him now; I don't need anyone. And, last but not least, it was Zero! My own damn sister stopped caring about me. I was okay with her not checking up on me for a while. But then, when she would just leave the house for days and not say a word or check on me when she got back; that's when I noticed she stopped caring, too."

I walked over to the window, dumping out the alcohol. "What about me?" She scoffed, "You never cared. You were trying to play match maker for me and Soul. And it didn't work." I cringed. She looked at me sympathetically. "You feel that? That feeling of hurt? Betrayal? I've been feeling that for weeks." She walked into her bathroom, wiping off her arms and splashing her face.

Something told me I needed to just walk over there and shake her. But she looked so fragile and vulnerable. I was afraid I'd break her. "What you thinking so hard on, Reaper?" Claire asked. I shrugged. "I do care, Claire. I wouldn't be here if I didn't. And Zero? She's been so scared to ask what was wrong she came to us about it! She can't stand to see you this way, but she doesn't know how to help. That's why she leaves! Soul was riding through the break up just like you were. He was just as miserable. Kai... I don't know how that ended up. But he's here now, and all he wants to do is help." I thought my speech was good, it was true if nothing else. "I don't need help." I scoffed. "The first thing you need is therapy, Claire."

Obviously, that wasn't the right thing to say. She looked even more hurt. "You wonder why I'm so guarded? Because people like you; people who don't care about my feelings. Just because it doesn't effect me outside doesn't mean it doesn't effect me inside!" I glared at her. "Then let us inside! God just let us in!" She shook her head desperately. "I can't! Can't you see that! Because this is inside Claire Sombre Monroe! She's sensitive and pathetic and hurt! She's wounded! So she has her outside, who is strong and careless and guarded. Brave, saving lives." I shook my head. "You are brave. The true you." Claire laughed. "That's too bad. I'm becoming more like 'outside' Claire every day. Bye-Bye sensitive Claire, hello protected Claire!" She sounded it, but she didn't look the least bit happy about that.

I bit my lip. "Claire. I'm begging you." She shook her head. "I'm gonna be a better me." She whimpered.

This abnormal feeling in my stomach hit me again as a tear escaped her eye. It's been there for at least a month now. I didn't know what it meant, or why it was there. "Claire, I want to help." She shrugged. "You can't help me anymore. It's too late for that." She shook her head. "Why am I even here! Aren't Weapons supposed to be brave and strong? They aren't supposed to be this weak and pathetic." She gestured at herself as she sat down. I hurried to sit down next to her, and hugged her. "You're not pathetic. Just lost." She shook her head, leaning on my shoulder. "I hope you're right."