Pain: Her (Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 77

The buzzing sound of my alarm rings through my quiet room and startled, I sit up. The sky is still dimmed exposing it's greyish glow through my curtainless window and the nightmare I had of Harry leaving me forever burns when I see him sound asleep beside me. The orange sweater hugs his body perfectly, his tired eyes close peacefully as his hair looks as if it was just newly brushed back. His lips are parted allowing his soft snores to release and I fall back down, turning my head so that I'm face to face with the man I broke. I hope he's sleeping well after all the yelling and drinking he did last night. I'm glad I brought him home and I'm especially glad that I found him. Even though it didn't go exactly how I had hoped, he ended up with me which I'm grateful for.

By the time he wakes up I'll be in school and I'm contemplating whether or not I should go. I missed a day already this week and my attendance is horrible. I promised him I'd be here when he wakes up so maybe I should wake him before I leave, but then again he's exhausted and I don't want to ruin his slumber. He just looks so peaceful and at ease. Watching him sleep is probably the most fascinating thing in the world. The way the air through his nose escapes and recaptures while his chest rises and falls slowly makes it seem as if all his stress and worries have disappeared. I carefully bring the back of my index and rub his cheek up and down taking in the warmth of it just as he always does to me. It's a bit stubbly, but still soft enough. I want to hug him and kiss him but I'm afraid I'll wake him up. I don't even think he know's he's here. He was so drunk I'm almost positive he'll have no idea where he is once he wakes up.

Everything seems like a blur to me. I can't really cope with everything I'm feeling or going through, I feel a bit clustered inside. I didn't think I'd take him back so easily or quickly but I can't help it. It's like the more I try to forget him, the more my demons laugh and push him back into my head. He's all I ever think about now, it's like he has possessed every aspect of me and it has gotten to the point where I even see his face when he's not around. I can smell him when he isn't with me, I can hear his laughter and him calling my name when I'm trapped in silence by myself but strangely, I loved it. It gave me company, all the paranormal shit I experienced without him made me feel like he was here and not actually gone. I'm not strong enough to leave him and I don't think I'll ever be. It was brave of me to walk away because even after all the things he had lied to me about, I always stayed. I'm proud of my self, in a way because I stuck of up for myself. At the same time, it was probably the worse choice.

Just as I shift to remove myself from the bed, Harry groans and turns on his stomach, laying his heavy arm around mine holding me down. With my thumb and index, I carefully grab his wrist and lift it, holding it in the air as I slide away. I gently place it down and just as I stand, I hear the mattress move.

Oh, no I woke him up.

I slowly turn on my heel and see him flutter his eyes open. He rubs them with his fists and I watch his hand reach over to touch me, expecting to feel me there and once he doesn't, his eyes open wide and his head turns so fast I swear it almost snapped.

Worried, he sits up and looks around in a panic until his eyes meet mine. The way he's looking at me is causing my insides to jump and he sighs in relief.

"Good morning." I quietly greet. I don't want to make things awkward and I know if I just stand here and look at him I will. I walk away and bend down in front of my drawer to find clothes to wear. I'm not really looking for anything in particular, just whatever attracts my eyes.

"What time is it?" even though his tone is low, his morning voice is full of strength and is hoarse, causing it to boom through the hushed room.

"Almost six thirty." I stand with a shirt and a pair of jeans in my hand. What do I say? It's way too early to talk things through and work it out, but everything just seems...normal.