Pain: Her (Harry Styles Fan Fiction)

Chapter 74

Each step feels heavy, not uncomfortable. I know with Niall I'll be able to confide in him but though I can, I know I can't tell him about what Harry did. Maybe he already knows but either way I don't want to risk anything. Plus, what he did is something you can't quite share with someone; it's way too serious and honestly none of anyone's business.

"There no light," Niall turns the nob to the steel door and we both walk in. It's cool inside, but completely vacant; just floor and walls. But at the left corner there's a huge grey cabinet and after shutting the door, Niall walks to it and opens it, taking out two chairs that are stacked on top of each other. There are three huge windows across from us and the only light in the room is from the sun shining through them. The grey walls and concrete ground hold the memory of Harry kissing me after I ignored him for knowing he knew about Ava and Liam. I hit him because he never told me that he knew, not even once gave me a slight clue or even bothered to mention them. I shouldn't be surprised about his past or his secrets; I guess it's just something I can't really get used to because each secret maxes out the one before.

He sets the two chairs in front of each other and sits, "sit." he instructs and I follow. I carelessly drop my bag beside me and cross my legs, sliding my hands between them. He spreads his and moves closer, just the way Harry used to, "what happened?" his blue eyes stick to mine as he rests his elbows on his knees to listen.

"We broke up." though the room is huge and a small pin drop could be heard, my voice is almost inaudible. His eyes widen to the new information and his brows pull together creating lines on his forehead beneath his swiped hair.

"Really? What happened?"

"We just--we weren't getting along." shaking my head I wipe my tears away.

"How come? You two were so in love." he doesn't realize how much that hurts me. I know how much Harry loves me which makes me walking out even harder to do but I was left with no choice. I shouldn't feel guilty but I do.

"We got into an argument and one thing lead to another and I left." my weak shoulders lift into a shrug and slump down with sadness. His attention is directed to me and watches me with pity, pity and shock. He hangs his head shaking it and takes a deep breath.

"That's really hard to believe." he lifts his head to meet my eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"He always bragged about you, always told the guys how amazing you are. It's crazy how he just let you leave."

I thought I couldn't feel any worse then I do now, but I do. I listen to him tell me how much he loved me and never stopped talking about me when he was with Conor and him. Every word and story, every use of the word "love" sticks a sharp knife in my already broken heart and I swear I can feel it bleed.

"It's different, Niall. We're not like every other couple." if only he knew.

"I know you're not, you guys are fucking insane but the love you two have is legit impossible to find.. I swear Al, you guys are like this." he crosses his middle finger over his index and holds it up symbolizing how close Harry and I are--were.

"You don't understand." shaking my head, I stand. I feel jailed in this seat and the emptiness of this room mimics my life, "he's not the person I thought he was! He's a fucking liar!" my feelings are bi-polar towards him. One second I feel bad and want him, the next I feel such strong hatred towards him it's like I can't make up my mind. The more I think about what he did and the more I talk about it, the hatred grows more and more, but than when I've cooled down all the great memories come back, all that resentment disappears, "I told him everything about me! Every single thing about my life from the beginning until now, I have never left anything out and he couldn't even tell me one thing about him without me forcing it out of him!" I can't control my mouth because all of the words and feeling I've kept bottled up is finally being released and it's like I can't stop.