First and Last

Chapter 15

Uhh… I keep on thinking about the sun and moon. Can he really make me see it together? I must be daft. I’m thinking about impossible things. He’s making me daft and he’s hurting me. All of it should make me realize that I should just ignore him but why am I being a masochist? I don’t want it to be like that.

“Baby, you need to eat something.” Aisha frowned at me.

“I’m not in the mood.”

“Niesha, you love him.”

“I don’t.” I hastily stood up and took everything in. My room’s a mess. I throw everything that I can put my hands on. This is just too much. It’s been a week and yet, I still keep on thinking about the things that he said, about the feel of his lips, the way his hands touch mine. I shook my head in frustration and saw Zareb took Aisha out to make her smile. I know I’m her main source of stress now.

“Niesha.” I looked at the one who said my name and Adela stood there with her hands on her hips. “It’s Ellard’s birthday!” She shouted at my face.

“What do you want me to do?”

“At least greet him! I haven’t seen him smile and all he did was to search something on his laptop. What did you do to him?” She frowned.

“I didn’t do a thing.” I shrugged.

“Make him smile for me.” She pleaded.

“I can’t.”

“At least try. For goodness’ sake!”

“I’ll try.”

“Fix yourself first. You look like a mess.” I look at myself in the mirror. Bloodshot eyes, haystack hair and pale skin tone. And a crumpled nightgown to top it all. I sighed and went inside my walked in closet. I picked a black tube top, cuffed shorts and a long black and white striped vest. I went into the bathroom and took a bath, put on my clothes, accessories and some make up. I chose a Laveda Vachetta Boot and dry my hair. When I’m done I looked at myself in the mirror. Can I really do this? “There’s a small gathering in our house.” I just nodded and followed her. I can do this, right? I went inside their place with my head down.

“Sorry.” Adela said as she grabbed my hand and guided me among the crowd of people. There are so many people here that I can’t imagine Ellard being sad or alone tonight. Why does he need me anyway? She stopped in front of a close door, knocked but there’s no response. She took something out of her pocket and opened the door.

I saw him lying on his bed and looking at the ceiling. Adela nudged me then she went out and closed the door. “Happy birthday, Ellard.” I said quietly. He abruptly sat up and looked at me with wide eyes. “Sorry I didn’t bring any gift or whatsoever. I didn’t know.” I didn’t even know what the date today is. I mentally added. He stood up slowly and walked towards me. He slowly lifted his hand and touch my face as if I’m not real.

“Niesha?” He said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“I’m real.” I took his hand and put it back on his side. He suddenly hugged me tight and I lost all my shields, just like that. This needs to stop. But I’m going to be so cruel if I ruin this night, right? I’ll give him this night. I’ll give me this night. It’s fine. It will be fine. He inhaled my scent as if this will be the last time that he’ll ever see me. I know it’s not but this will be the last night that he’ll get to hold me. “Ellard, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” I thought he’s fine after he told me that he’ll let me see the sun and the moon together but what happened to him? “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine.” He said its fine but I still want to give him something. Suddenly the song ‘Birthday Sex by Jeremih’ was blaring on the stereo. We both burst out laughing. Who wouldn’t? You’re saying that you’re sorry because you didn’t give him any gift then that song will suddenly blast from your speakers. “How did you know?”